Tag Archives: wants

Suffering For A Cause

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Crying, pouting, and digging your own grave, should not be a part of suffering, necessarily. Suffering is a beautiful thing if you let it be. Suffering helps us learn something new about ourselves and our surroundings. From said lessons, we are able to grow and share our insights to those who are stepping into the suffrage from whence we just came.

Paying it forward is a beautiful thing.

I suffered, yes indeed. I didn’t just suffer, but I conquered Lent.

Veni, Vidi, Vici !

Through 46 days of shaking hands, eye googling drool dripping out of the corners of my mouth for all the things I want – I made it out alive. Noticing every eye twitch, every palm sweat, and most importantly, every time I said “I don’t need that,” followed by the action of walking away; I discovered and accepted a new strength I didn’t before, allow myself the credit of having.

As was said in Lent It Out “You too, hold the power within!” I took my words very seriously as I let them permanently place themselves in my post. I harnessed my personal power in the times I felt weak and bored.

For the amount I would have spent if I had given into the things I wanted vs the things I needed, I would have spent a grand total of $2,749.

Instead, spending the money on the stuff I needed, I was able to split the cost of groceries without a worry, never fear how I was going to gas up my Xterra, got my dog her big bag of dog food, and was able to pay off $1,152 of debt. Let me tell you – as a 23 year old, that is a big deal. Paying off debts without accruing any new debts is important and strikes me as one of the most important priorities a person can have.

It’s a struggle to overcome an old habit. I would be lying if I said I didn’t put my accountibilibuddies to use. They got called. They snapped me out of it when moments got rough (or when things got cute).

I made a vow by this Lent, that not only shall I control my wallet and temptations, but I will successfully break through the barrier of my weakened need of materialistic fulfillment!

My things don’t make me who I am.
This processes was one of trust and commitment. And every year I do it, I will be reminded, that life is always a work in progress, and our attachments contain our suffering.

To break free from attachment is to obtain freedom.
To gain strength outside of attachment is to achieve power.
To suffer for a cause, is to find meaning behind the reason. 

Rebirth

I have been having a big problem with writer’s block for the past while, especially when it comes to putting material up here on planetzynnia.com.

A lot of the times, when I am out and about in the city or on my bike or just lounging around the house, I think of articles to write, ideas flourishing in my head! I would tell myself, “I’m goin to remember this and jump on the computer when I get home and write this down!” And then I got home and….. nothing.

Sometimes, by the time I even got home, I couldn’t remember anything I had thought of that day. I can’t even begin to imagine all the ideas, stories, and words I have wanted to spill out on here – only to be disappointed by my own self.

After all, we are our own best sabotage.

Sometimes, I just allow my lazy tendencies to get in the way.
Sometimes, I worry more about the material on my website. I think to myself constantly, “Can I put that on my site? Can I expand on the topic enough to make an interesting read? If I swear, will I want to look forward to hearing it ruthlessly from my family because of it? Can I do this? Should I do that? What? Why? How?”

Question, question, question, question, question, question, question, question!
And no god damn answers!

I was driving home this past Saturday night from a two-day trip to Grand Junction, Colorado. I’ve come to not mind the four hour drive so much, because it’s a great time to mull over the thoughts spinning around in my head. I can shamelessly talk aloud to myself and give myself the time and patience to make sense of it all. One of the topics I had talked my own ear off about, is this topic today: the content here on planetzynnia.com.

I had to ask myself why I started the website in the first place. And this is what I came up with:

 

For the past nine years, I have faithfully kept a detailed journal of my life. Everyday, I would take time to write in my books. At any given point, someone could find me pulling it out of my bag, regardless of where I was – if I had to write, I had to write. Location was never a top concern. The older I got, the more friends and strangers started to notice. “Ashlyn and her diary..” people would say. “What do you write in there all the time?” people would ask.
Periodically, I would let trusted friends flip through my old diaries and allow them to really get a taste of my head. Why I think the way I think. That’s when I got the idea to write a memoir. And then I opened up my first livejournal account. And then, I expressed the idea of my own website to my former boyfriend who surprised me with the birth of this website back in 2011. I truly owe this all to him.

For the first while, getting subscribers weren’t my main concern. I never truly thought anyone would even find my website; let alone read my blogs. It continues to touch me and warm my heart with every recognition I get from the comments (the ones that don’t generate a thousand spam comments that is)

This website is still a baby in essence. Which means, I still have the choice to decide what type of website this is. Do I want it to be based on one category? A self-development blog? Animal blog? Massage Therapy blog? Beauty blog? Stories? – This “blog type” was half the battle!

It wasn’t until my drive home this past Saturday night, I realized, I am one of a kind. My thoughts are unique, my person is original, my life experiences are truly diverse and interesting all in their own. When you go onto Planetzynnia.com, you never really know what you’ll read that day and that’s the beauty behind it. It’s what sets me apart from others, it’s what wakes me up in the morning and feeds my passion. Being different and being unafraid is what I want to show the World.

I want to demolish stereotypical expectations. I want to bring people together through words, pictures, and a good story. I want to encourage those who can relate to the trials I have been through. I want to give the faith back to people who may be questioning their path or life-long desires. That’s who I am.

I am an Earth Peacemaker. I am a Fire Wizard. I am a Water Philosopher.

I am Ashlyn Zynnia Campbell.

And this is the re-birth, of Planetzynnia,com.

 

Welcome friends.

photo credit: Dylan Guest Art