Tag Archives: love

Another Historical Moment in the New Millennium

It’s no hidden fact, that since the beginning of our new millennium, we have made monumental moments in our history that have been captivating,

In 2001, the first iPod was introduced by Apple, Inc. and it was a month before that we had a terrorist attack on our nation and Historical Afghan cliff carvings of the Buddhas are blown up after the Taliban deems them idolatrous.
In 2002, Banksy smuggles one of his own works into Tate Britain: The nation’s favorite graffiti artist, Bansky, smuggles one his pieces into Tate Britain; earning himself a place in the art establishment
In 2004, Facebook was launched by Mark Zuckerberg
In 2005, YouTube was created and Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans
2006 brought us Planet Earth, The God Delusion, and our first E-Reader by Sony.
Paul McCartney proved anyone can be a record label, even Starbucks, when he signed in 2007.
The year of 2008 brought us our first black President of the United States
Pop Icon, Michael Jackson passed away in 2009.
NASA took its final mission in 2011.
We survived the apocalypse on December 21, 2012
The Selfie, The Belfie, “Bae”, Instagram, Snapchat, iPads, Facetime, Radio on the Go…….


Now, in 2015, we have yet again, made our mark in history as a wide clan of humanity. We have given evidence to show what it means to be united and stand together as one. Different parties have come together, different religions have come together, and different generations… have come together. We have the done the undoable and accomplished the accomplishable….

Supreme Court has ruled in favor of gay marriage in all 50 states. 


White House Turns to Rainbow
photo credit: Mladen Antonov


A display of the colors as shown: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.
That is seven colors that correlates not just the number, but the order, in which our Chakras run. (Root, Hara, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, Crown).

Coincidence? Nothing is coincidence.

The colors are based off the the order and creation of the natural phenomena, the rainbow. (Notice how “rainbow”, in itself, is seven letters long?) The rainbow appears after rainfall and is said to be God’s promise to mankind that he won’t ever again, flood the Earth. The rainbow is a sign of promise, peace, growth, love, opportunity, cherishment, and love. These seven colors literally, run from the shade before it into the shade following it. The red fades into orange, fades into yellow, fades into green; all the way until the indigo fades into violet (our crown chakra, that when opened, gives us ultimate, open communication with the Divine), shining so brightly, that as the violet sheds those sweet purple and lavender hues, they become filled more with pinks; bringing us back full circle to a bold and leading red.

7 Colors
7 Letters
7 Dominating Chakras through the center of our body.

There is no denying that the message of the rainbow has clearly been lost throughout society as we have grown in less than favorable ways throughout the centuries of occupying Mother Earth. But here it is, again, forcing us to open our ways. Forcing us to pay attention to the moral laws set forth by powers greater than we will ever know. We are made of the components that the message brings. We were made up of all the colors that run in and out of each other. One color is every color and no color is no such thing. It proves the connection among all living things.


The ruling came on June 26th, 2015 from a very close 5-4 ruling in the Supreme Court, denying every state the power to prohibit same sex couples seeking marriage. The moment the gavel came down in favor of the marriage rights, it was instantly legal; giving every gay man and lesbian woman the right to enjoy their marriage rights that every opposite-sex couple has enjoyed for thousands of years. Obama gives a pretty straight forward speech in this short video here.

Said President Obama on the night of the ruling, “This is a great step toward our March in equality.” And he couldn’t be more right. The Defense of Marriage Act was denied in 2013 by the Supreme Court, after millions of eager citizens were waiting to hear the news on what their future of freedom would hold for them. Millions of people have fought blood, sweat, and tears to make this moment happen. They have endured name calling, unlawful physical attacks, hate messages, judgements, disownment from families and friends, and even the development of fear. They have stayed true to themselves through the fire as they walked across the coals of other people’s wrath and envy. People are born with bravery. It’s a quality one develops.

Our country has much to learn about the concept of courage, bravery, and integrity. For so many years, people have taken it upon themselves to play God. They have taken ownership of the right to judge others, sentence others, condemn others; just because they believe in different views.

There are some things, I can only shake my head at, such as the outcries of our nation’s senators and political figures. Which is when I turn to the man who has taken my response to these people, right out of my mouth and in doing so, has allowed me to laugh with millions who also viewed this treat on Monday, June 29th.


 

LET THIS BE KNOWN AMERICA:

YOU ARE NOT BETTER OR WORSE THAN THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU. 

YOU DO NOT OWN THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYBODY OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF.  

YOU DO NOT OWN THE RIGHT TO CONDEMN THOSE WHO SEE DIFFERENTLY.


Absolutely adorable is when kids are asked their views. Now, kids are literally a by-product of their parents and daily environment. They speak their mind because they are pure of heart. They see things a number of adults don’t see because they haven’t lost their depth of imagination. They understand things a number of adults do not, because they love wholeheartedly. So when asked what their opinion is of gay marriage, they said this.


 

This picture below, is what it looks like when the nonbelievers utilize the space in between their arms for accepting individual thought and lifestyle, instead of utilizing it to hold onto their pride.

The White House is blanketed in rainbow colors symbolizing
photo credit: Molly Riley


 

quote from Obama on Gay Marriage

Obama said the ruling was the “consequence of the countless small acts of courage of millions of people across decades who stood up, who came out, who talked to parents — parents who loved their children no matter what. Folks who were willing to endure bullying and taunts and stayed strong and came to believe in themselves and who they were, and slowly made an entire country realize that love is love.”


 

Gaining support in this triumph is ever growing. Even churches are beginning to recognize the strength and beauty in opening their minds to accept other beliefs as genuine individual thought. “If we were all the same, we’d all be eating at Taco Bell,” my mom always says. And she is right. How boring would that be if we all thought and lived and ate the same? Diversity is what America was made for. Against what Senator Ted Cruz thinks, it is exactly, what our founding fathers wanted for our country.

Life. 
Liberty.
Equality.
Freedom.
Pursuit of Happiness.

What It Means to Love Thy Body.

I moved to New York February 3rd. My plane landed in the afternoon and my sweet sweet boyfriend, Danny, had me picked up by a driver and I met him at his work by the time he was off. I hadn’t seen him since January 2nd and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest at the first sight of him. Could it be?! Danny in person! Not Face-time, not Skype. Person. Real life. When you date long distance, the feeling you get of seeing your significant other in real life is so surreal, you have to literally question yourself if you are dreaming or not. My World was spinning in all the best ways that day.

We hugged for what seemed like, ever. We kissed passionately. And we drove home and talked and he let me gawk at the views out the windows. To him, it was already “the norm” and to me, it was no Wasatch Mountain Range of Utah, but nonetheless, trees EVERYWHERE from the location the highways running through the woods. Snow capped land with enough snow to pack inside the Big Cottonwood Canyon and shred down fresh powder for weeks.

It never occurred to me then that my insides were in the middle of turmoil.

We stopped at Trader Joe’s on our way home and loaded up on groceries. That cutie pie had stocked our pantry previously with all the foods I loved so much to my surprise. He would be leaving in two days and seeing as how I wasn’t yet employed, the only money I had was what was already in my account and he didn’t want me to worry about not having money to buy food while he was in Manchester, UK for work for the ten day pre-season trip.

We went home by the evening and unpacked my luggage and he was giving me a tour of the apartment. Our cute one bedroom, hardwood floor apartment with checkered bathroom and a bedroom with broken ventilation. To me, I thought “this is romance.” The story of lovebirds living in New York in a shitty first apartment with a living room that has no electricity and no heat in the bedroom. The lights and heat worked everywhere else and I imagined us going through this year lease together learning how to fix up the apartment ourselves. New York is expensive to rent in and for the price you pay, it’s surprising how much you get. Like the small shelled bugs that periodically are caught roaming in our house. But it’s our home and that’s what makes it special. It’s our first place together and it’s the place that will upset us and let us down when something breaks and it will be up to us to not let it get the best of us because it’s our first place together and it will be the place that tests our teamwork. Because we are a team. Working hand in hand.

I love the apartment no matter what it’s like. I love the person I see standing across from me in the kitchen dipping his Chewy Chips Ahoy into a glass of Organic Whole Milk. I love that the next evening I get to drive to JFK airport and pick up my most beloved dog and together we will be the Campbell-Laroche household. I love the bitter cold weather of the snow and the way it freezes my fingertips and toes and makes me feel as if my nose will be frost bitten with each deep inhale. I love our tiny town that is one mile long and supplied with just about everything I need a town to have. I love the accent of our Albanian neighbors and the smell of Mary’s Greek food that she cooks everyday. I love that we are the only two apartments in this building above shops and I absolutely love the narrow winding roads that go in and out of the woods along the Connecticut/New York State Lines.

Love, love, love, is what I’m getting at here.
I am telling you everything I love about everything but the most important thing connected to me. And me being my soul. Because I am a soul. My body is my vessel. My body is not me. It is my armor. I never mentioned anything about loving it.

Danny and I finish dinner. We go and lay down in the bed and he puts on a movie. I am curled up awkwardly and thirty minutes go by and suddenly…. I can’t breathe.
With every fiber of my being I CANNOT BREATHE. I began to panic and Danny’s eyes open up wide in terror as he begs me, “Ash what’s wrong??? What’s happening??” I’m gripping my lower abdomen and crying my eyes out telling him I have no idea what’s going on. I can’t stand up straight. It feels like knives and needles are stabbing me and gutting open my insides. Talons are wrenching open every muscle fiber and every connective tissue that is supposed to protect my insides. My uterus is cramping so hard; I have never felt this pain before. I am inexperienced with menstrual cramps because I can count on less than one full hand the amount of times I have had menstrual cramps. And when I have experienced menstrual cramps, all it took was a banana and a 30 minute nap on my stomach to relieve the irritation of the unnecessary process of my monthly due. This was an omen. This was something so foreign and unnatural, I felt like I was releasing something evil through the work of Exorcism that Jayme and I had preformed on people. Their violent screams and gritting teeth. I was feeling this pain.

Danny told me he was taking me to the hospital and I immediately objected. I figured, “Whatever this is, I will sleep this off. Please just get me a hot towel and help me lie down on my back.” He got me what I asked for and told me that I can’t use a home remedy for something that I have never experienced before. Given, that I beg to differ, as I study natural medicine and home remedies for everything, I knew he was right. I had NO idea what was happening and my body was sweating profusely, my adrenaline was pumping. I couldn’t be still long enough to listen to my body. Danny set the timer on his phone for five minutes and I compromised with him that at the end of five minutes, if my pain wasn’t lessened, he was taking me to the Emergency Room.

All I could think about was trying to get my breath slower so I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital on my first night moving to New York. I didn’t know what to think. I knew I would refuse medicine if they tried to give it to me. I didn’t want any drugs in my body and I certainly didn’t want to spend the night in the hospital. And my mom. Last thing I needed was to have my mom stressing out that her youngest daughter, who is prone to developing the most odd of injuries always coming out of thin air that are rare and damaging, be in a hospital in New York her first night moving to New York.

Five minutes was up.

I tried my best to smile and tell Danny my pain was better. He told me to get off the bed. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly started to move. It didn’t take but a couple of seconds before I was clenching my jaw so tight to keep from screaming in pain. Emergency Room is was. I gave in the towel and grabbed my insurance card and he hauled me to the car and we drove to the Northern Westchester Hospital Emergency Room.

A nurse awakened me in the waiting room and walked me back to the room. It was no dream….. I was really there. Danny looked sad from not being able to know what to do to help my pain. I looked at him with sad eyes, feeling like a burden because of my pain. I was wheeled off to another wing of the hospital to get scanned; finding out the omen was a ruptured cyst.

A ruptured cyst.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Or my eyes, when I looked at the ultrasound images in the small dark room, with a very comforting and friendly nurse who I could tell was probably a phenomenal and adorable grandmother to some kids out there in the World. She explained to me that the black blob was free floating fluid outside of my uterus. It would take a few days, maybe a week, for it to exit my body entirely. She was unable to give me a gauge of what my pain would be like, if any.

I just sat..stunned. Flashbacks of horrific memories began flooding my mind and in my heart of hearts, I knew how I had developed this cyst. Given the duration of time, it only makes sense that it would have to burst at some point in time. It made sense to me how it developed. And I couldn’t help but shake my head in deep, deep sorrow as I cursed myself for not realizing what the pain all those months and almost a year before was. For never getting it checked out. I assumed it was one thing entirely natural and instead, it was indeed, the cyst itself, forming and gathering particles until it ceased to grow anymore until there was no other way out other than explosion.

I accepted the news.
They discharged me and told me I could buy Motrin for pain if I felt like I needed it. Otherwise, I should take it easy and avoid vigorous workouts.

When Danny left for Manchester the morning of the 5th, I cried and cried and cried.
I went to the bathroom and held my stomach and looked in the mirror.

And that’s when I realized…..

I had forgotten to truly love my body.

I had spent so much time, for YEARS, including that day, gawking at everyone and everything around me and above me. I expressed love for people, places, and things. I expressed love to myself but never, not once, did I take the consideration to express love; real love; to my vessel. My mortal packaging of bones, tissues, veins, muscles, and organs. My beating heart that worked hard day in and day out to provide the clean blood to pump through my body and feed every square millimeter of my body.

I held my abdomen as I looked into my eyes in the mirror and cried and told my body “I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you over the years. For the impurities I have allowed to soak you down in and the beatings I allowed you to take. Please forgive me for the times I have starved you from real nutrients and water, drying you out. Of course you would begin to give up on me! I don’t blame you. My sweet body…. I love you so much. My beautiful vessel that carries me with these mortal feet, wherever I want to go; every single day of my life. My hands that write and type until my beautiful eyes beg me to shut. They never fight me. You allow me to overwork you and underfeed you and push you to your limits everyday without the amount of rest you deserve. You have sacrificed so much of your energy for me so I can selfishly live how I want to live and I think because you are my body and my mind tells me it’s okay that it is okay. I am so sorry vessel. I am so sorry for the torturous things I have put you through and I beg of your forgiveness. I express all my gratitude to you now and forever. I express my love to you endlessly, for without you, I would not be this being.” I began to specifically touch each individual organ and tell it how much I love it and thanked it specifically for the unique work it does for my body to retain power and strength, giving me another moment inside my own handpicked body. I began to revel in my love for my body and began to have conversations with my body I had never thought to have before. My body began to tell me things it has held onto for so many years. We talked, we laughed, we cried together; my body and I.

And together, we let go.

I promised to myself and my body from that moment forward, I would always remember to give my love and gratitude back to it. I promised to always take care of it. I promised to always listen deeply to it and never take for granted what it has to tell me. I promised to trust my body with its communication.

Just like our friendships, work relationships, romantic partnerships, and family ties that require love and attention and effort. Our body and our souls are tied together in their very own relationship. One that we too often take for granted.

We are not our bodies.

And when we die, our bodies are not ours to keep. Our bodies do not follow us wherever we go because our soul is timeless. Our soul is not kept inside our body because our body is a costume that merely contains our soul which is in fact our life form. Our body is there for us immortal souls to operate and function in a mortal World.

Among every relationship you have in your life; don’t forget the relationship you have with your body. Take the time to touch it, talk to it, listen to it. It is what carries you. It is what saves you. It is your protection. Your very resource for movement alone. And without it, you are imprisoned in a case that will only release you when it finally gives up. So, I say again with as much encouragement as I can muster………..

Love the World around you. Love the ups and downs that come your way. Love the people, places, and things that come in and out of your life. Share your stories and memories and make things happen.

And most importantly, LOVE THY BODY.
The very unique, exquisite, and beautiful threshold that you reside in.
Your ultimate home.

Love it with your full soul and heart and it will love you back. And together, may you both live in this Mortal life, happy, healthy, and prosperous.

 
Amen.

Life As I Know It.

A calm life up in the mountainside is all I need to breathe easy. Serenity surrounding me as a sweet foundation to my ultimately up-and-on-the-go lifestyle. I spread the Word of Wellness around the World with business partners nationwide and internationally. I have an empire built on Massage Therapy/Skin Care  with clients who pay me by way of yearly contract only. I have small shops of different business ideas spread around the county. I spend my days massaging clients in a naturalistic setting and educating them about the importance of self-inspired health and a wellness lifestyle where freedom is infinite and happiness is abundant. My clients are dis-ease free and active. They are also turning 110 this year.

From the success of Phoenix Sun Massage, I have continued on to create a local Massage Supply store in a two-level building with a breakfast bar on the bottom, serving healthy breakfast and other food options with homemade ingredients that are fresh and sludge free. Serving the students and faculty of UCMT along with everyone welcome in Earth community. Ran by the top students of the school, to contribute to Work Study, because we all relate to the struggle of student financial life. Business is going great and our word of mouth advertising has brought us incredible, cultured, unique, and interesting individuals from all over the World. I am able to provide a comfortable employment for my employees. They are rewarded full medical and dental coverage through their schooling with discounts off store product, and an environment full of knowledge, respect, and teamwork to build a trusting foundation to last the days.

I work with the Utah Herding Breed Rescue and use my access of 7 acred-land to house foster dogs far enough into the East mountainside with the luxury of creating a backyard paradise of my custom design. By this time, I have made connections with animal societies and animal trainers from around the World by working with dogs, wolves, and horses.

When I am not doing something for my business or animal life, I am basking in my passions for writing and adventure. I keep a few different blog pages on my personal website and write about anything I want to. Mostly interesting stories, to help people take the time for a moment out of their day to sit still and let go. With my personal blog, I encourage the act to always stay on top and keep their head up. I show people what its like to have their imagination and passion back. To create the thing they’ve always wanted and live a life of their said reality. I do this by bringing awareness through my writing, examples, and intellectual approaches; as well as fun and easy-to-read articles that grab the attention of both wild teenager and aging senior citizen. My writing is real and unleashed from the common barracks of societal rules. I keep a music podcast and blog with special guests, ideas, and of course, the music itself. I strive to bring meaningful music of all and any genres out there who lives to speak of real things, real times, and real ideas.

I am respected and successful because of the confidence I hold in myself and my perception. I am a real woman who lives life, truly by the fullest of her passion. I am surrounded by love in many, various aspects. I keep close bonds with friends and family and often have events held at my house for holidays and social get-together’s. I hold my clients confidential, but through my clients, work as a connector to build upon the democracy and community lives, for the better.  I am a reputable contributor to making communities and businesses better for the economy, wellness, and safety of our neighbors, through a free-person-welcomed City Counsel of Salt Lake. With our team full of ideas and sifting out the good ideas from the bad, we are able to create non-biased and fact-full articles about the community and for the community and create change through individual awareness and action. I am one small voice that’s connected with the one large voice our county carries, who shares the credit of creating a truly remarkable way of living by combining ideas from the past, present, and future. We are noticed. And we are heard of. Together, we grow as a community, a state, and a nation. Our nation is coming back on top and gaining their United independence Rights back. People around the World are speaking up, creating, idolizing their lives to fit their happiness and safety priorities. War is down, although bickering remains content. We are in a time of change where the World is (slowly but surely) realizing working together in best frenemy-styled fashion, is going to give them the greater gain.

 

I am living the best life I have dreamed of all this and more. And I owe it all to the faculty and staff of the Utah College of Massage Therapy.

Wildfire.

I’m having revelation after revelation it seems since starting my last term at school. The middle three and fourth terms you really do get burned out. At least for our criteria. We are the graduating class EM1012,

We are the fearless class who spoke up and spoke loud and have made an impact that will forever last on the school.

I think my problem is that I have just taken a fake effect on everything in life. For some reason, a visual part of my life just seems to have a weird effect in my life now. The past comes back. I notice it more when I’m high with Lion.  I feel bad when I get to that point where I usually spend that “high time” by myself. And we do everything together. We both miss our alone time, and it’s fair that we both get that. We are just people.

I don’t think I have daddy issues at all. In fact, I have seldom issues with my father. But I am the part of him that I enjoy the most. He is my total opposite, and yet one of my favorite like-people in this World.

I know the person who holds my demons. Who stole me of my innocence.

You hear all the time that nobody has fears. “Oh, I’ve seen everything!” they shout, “I have no fears! ! There is nothing to fear in this World because man can do everything. We are forces able to connect with any flowing thing..”, and though that may be true, we can’t do everything all of the time and take on a Superwoman act without rest, without time alone. Burnt out and stressed out. Overloaded and unhappy. Rage and Creepy auras. Vasodialation and heated up with blood flowing. Exchanging energy to sustain the goal in mind. Which is to write! Write however it comes out, because sometimes this feels so much better then crying. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me. I feel horrible because Lion always thinks it’s about him and like he is the only thing that makes me unhappy. But he really doesn’t know about any other of my other stresses. I mainly don’t tell him my stresses or bad news. I don’t want him to stress out about me. I stress him out enough. I feel like an ugly person. Inside and out, ironically! Hahahaha!  I have always wondered if that manifests itself into our literal shape. Mental issues taking a shape onto your body.

I am sitting in the bedroom while my babs is out on the couch. I feel like he thinks these are moments where he can’t do anything. And it sucks, because I don’t know how to show him that I don’t care what he does in his personal life without him thinking that I’m being cynical or cunty. Because, I have a sick tendency to be pretty cunty. I say all sorts of things with my imaginative mind. I just let it flow out, as if I’m opening my subconscious, Of course, I strive to open to my Pituitary Gland. I have been realizing what parts of me I have been neglecting, and the Pituitary Gland is the all mighty. The connection to Third Eye.

I feel like I can’t even control the eyes I have now. I have a problem looking in the center of everything. As I’m typing, I am actually focusing directly in front of me. I’m losing a bit of my sense of time although I still know what’s going on in my home. The computer with the music playing is slowing making its way towards me and the harmonies bear in the meditation.

Bathroom Break.

I can’t justify my personality flaws nor the flaws of other people. I can’t blame my mother or any other outside influence that has many any subconscious impact in my life. The bottom line is: it has.

Whether it was a good or bad experience, it has made an impression in my life. Whether I acknowledge it or not, these life influences sit at the foundation of every life choice I make. I could go on and on and dive into every specific issue and I could pour my heart to you openly. That might make me feel better, if we could get by with treating symptom issues.

I don’t like treating symptoms with my clients, so what makes me think I want to treat symptoms with myself? The goal here is to change the root cause!

What I have now is new-found reality. I will not confine myself to thinking errors such as “I am this way because,__________” because that’s juvenile. In the end, it’s our energetic force-field that has allowed for the influence and whatever influence has made its way, must have needed to get in for a reason. I myself have blossomed into a person unlike any other, which is a praise on its own, because that’s what we should do as humans! We have the opportunity, the encouragement above all to live our passions. Being ourselves is something not many people in this World know they can be, and yet, it’s our birth right. Stripped away from some of us at birth, from government, from abusive environments, from report cards, and societal failures. In reality, we are the only person able to stop us; if we allow someone else to do that job, we might as well already be half dead.

Influence. Impression. Impact.

So how do I, and other people in the same type of situation, deal with this?

We acknowledge it. We accept it. We change it.
But how do we change it?

By developing new thinking habits. It’s the one controllable change we have upon ourselves. We read and write all the time lists and explanations of ways to improve our happiness, our general emotional state, and our mental clarity. Be positive. Change your realm of people. Take a Me Day. Create a Gratitude Journal. Try this, try that, and let me tell you how to live a happier life in less than 100 ways.

That’s not reality though, because not everybody has the same motivation or change rate. Not everyone’s problems come from their friends or jobs. Not everyone wants to give up their inner circle in order to have a peace of mind. Not everybody has to write in a gratitude journal to make their prayers validated. Again, all that does is fix the symptoms. So when the unhappiness creeps back in, it’s back to the drawing board.

The only thing we need to do when it comes to looking for change is our thought process. It’s the one aspect that drives every action, every perceptional view, every choice and emotion and reason for what we do. If we don’t think we sit. Our brain doesn’t know what else to do other than go with the flow. By re-training our thought patterns, we can project a better outcome for ourselves.

I’m not a scientist or psychologist. I can’t tell you ways on how to change your thought process, because I don’t know where your issues stem from. I also don’t have all the time in the World to hear about them as much as you don’t have all the time in the World to talk about them. And that’s okay. It’s not inhumane of me to not want to hear about it. You don’t know me from Eve, so why should you bear your innermost problems to me by way of verbal information?

I am a Professional Massage Therapist. A holistic body worker and firm believer in the connection with our Physical and Energetic bodies. Everyday I get to work with someone new and help facilitate the healing process for them to get back to their optimal level of health, by bringing them back in alignment with the gravitational pull and balancing out the energies and emotions that are inside. I get to communicate with bodies everyday and learn something new from someone. It’s truly a blessing what I do and I hope to do it my entire life.

You can’t fix your physical problems without fixing your energetic problems and vice versa. You can’t recognize your issues and continue to write a rain check on them in the hopes you will still progress. And you wonder why you’re not changing….

For me, I change my thought process by forcing positive thoughts my way if in the event they are in deep hiding. I fake it to make it sometimes. I am only human and it’s impossible to be consistently happy all of the time. We need down sides to even us out. We need a flushing of emotions to keep us in check that, hey! We’re humans. It’s what we do.

By becoming better in touch with ourselves and who we are, we need to make that connection solid between heart and mind. We need to listen to our bodies when it tells us something. We need not to fight the releasement our bodies crave. Our bodies need the releasement and would fulfill it’s craving if we didn’t let our pride and mind control get in the way. We have a right to live free of dis-ease. We have a right to bury our burdens and set the grave on fire.

 

We have a right to shine and grow and fulfill our passionate destinies.

It’s our birthright, to burn like Wildfire.

Hi again,

It’s one of those nights. Those nights to let it all go.
After a long day of thinking about my actions and life choices and seeing how they have come to effect my life now, I’m wiped out. Everyday, you do something, anything, and it moves you one step closer or one step further away from where you want to be.

Our problem is that we rarely stop to assess. Some of us have more awareness. Some of us truly believe we are aware people, and sometimes come to surprise even our self in the observations we have.

Let’s begin:

I haven’t been onto my website in a long, long time.
The worst part is, I have had so many great ideas on what to write about.
I used to just stop and write it out on my WordPress app on my phone, but now I am finding that I’m becoming more and more lazy about it. I am thinking about the idea of writing out a giant, long, detailed blog for so long that I actually end up getting overwhelmed and deciding to leave it alone completely, claiming that “I will just remember this topic and write it down when I get home.”
Really?
Who am I kidding?
I won’t remember. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do it.I’ve been exhausted for months.I have been living with two female roommates since the end of January, in downtown Salt Lake. It was fun for the most part. 

  • I got a dog at eight weeks old and have been juggling being with her, training her, playing with her – all things Zai.
  • I have been working a job that became more and more dissatisfying every day I went in for another shift.
  • I am going to a school where, besides my dog, is the only thing that keeps me sane all the time.
  • I have been in a six month relationship and have gone through the ups & down, in the end, enjoying every minute of it. I’m in love. I love another person’s soul. And I have loved his soul longer than I have loved him.

After all, isn’t that how I should feel about my other half? We connected on ways we’ve never connected with other people before.

And with Zai… I have never communicated with any animal the way I communicate with her. I think people forget to realize, more or less of the time, how much animals can understand. If you give them a chance, they will understand you. It’s a wonderful thing, mammal communication.

I quit my job yesterday. All the time we hear or read, on blog and motivational pieces, encouraging you to quit your job and take the risk of doing what makes you happy. And it really is great advice, except for the fact that sometimes, certain people are just sillier than others and quit without a) having a concrete backup and b) stacking those racks and really preparing for the time spent off track.
Oops! But what can you do? You can use that unpreparedness to your advantage and boost your motivation to fulfill a position that fits your current lifestyle exactly how you see fit.

I’ve taken my hiatus from blogging and reading, unexpectedly. It’s driven me nuts, and all along I have recognized the feeling of unbalanced energy in my life. I have to hit my forehead, bringing me back to reality, quite frequently, saying to myself, “Of course this is what’s missing! Why am I holding back? Why am I not writing? Why am I not engaging in the passion that drives my soul?”

 

Excuses.

It doesn’t make me a phony in how I carry myself, in any sense, however I have come to the comfortable realization that sometimes when you grow and progress so quickly in so many different ways, you forget about your foundation.
“forgetting where you came from phase.

It doesn’t make your person any better or worse, it just leads your core in a tornado across your entire thought process. It can be overwhelming or stressful and not only until you bring yourself back to center and remember where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be; will you make the necessary changes to pick up, regroup, and move forward in the best sane matter you know possible.

It’s not about doing it like anybody else, it’s about doing it the best way you know possible for the moment until you find the next big thing that will encourage, drive, and push you into the limits you never knew were available at hand.

That’s when the universe answers your call and decides you’re ready for the next big thing.

 

 

 

Dear Universe,
I don’t know if you know me as well as I know you. But I get you.
And I’m ready for you.

Yours Truly,
Z.

 

I pay my respects out of respect.

Realization

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

 

 

I have to agree with this. I thought I would feel different about him. I’ve always said he was my soulmate and I’ve always said I was never in love with him. And I’m not. He is the first person I have been able to control my emotions with and just feel and enjoy. To know I could love without feeling the needing or longing of another soul. I love him and care about him, but I’m not in love with him. I always wondered why that was.

“Shouldn’t I feel love?” Love is not the same as in love for me apparently. We took a test on what our primary love languages are. Our first was the same and our other ones are different.
So after seeing him, I realized. He is my soulmate for life, yes, NOT the one I’m in love with. And I am okay with that and I accept that. I know it sounds completely bonkers to some people. I’m okay with open comments and discussions, I think it’s interesting to see so many views on one set topic. I feel lucky I got to have this. I got my chance to meet someone who has changed my life in every way and shape possible. Someone who I could hold no comparison to anyone else in my lifetime. He remains in my thoughts and prayers every single day and I will no doubt ever forget him or the lessons he has taught me. He is truly an angel and I am blessed to have met the very soulmate Gilbert explains so boldy.