IT’S HAPPENED!

Dare I Say, I’ve had an epiphany!

I had a profound moment and it was jolting. I thought to where I could announce this ah-ha moment, if not to my journal, and it took me a fair minute to realize what I have sitting right in front of me the whole time.

As I was using the Earth’s force of gravity to pull myself into a self-unwinding session, I was paying close attention to the emotions and imagery going through my head swiftly and I quickly realized I had to start writing something down before I lost gold once again. That tends to happen.

A trusted Guide was instructing me to come to view each of my passions as hobbies or career choices. I have a weakness in my creative mind for wanting to turn everything into a business. Totally annoying, I am sure, but constantly inspiring nevertheless! As my heart ached, letting go of a dream to make a business out of one of my hobbies, I rejoiced in the fact knowing I can still do it and have fun; I just no longer need to stress myself out about whether or not I am making a successful choice for myself.

I am checking things off left and right, and I come to a sudden freeze when I get to Planet Zynnia. My blog. My sweet, sweet blog that my beloved friend surprised me with the domain so many years ago. He still supports me in this blogging journey and couldn’t have chosen a better domain. He’s fantastic. Y’all should check him out actually, at devannielsen.com

I love this blog. It’s my precious gem. My diamond in the ruff. A place where you can come to and read brutal honesty from different categories. Reading words from an Author who intentionally encourages you to get uncomfortable with your bubble and think outside the box, challenging beliefs and raising questions in and around awareness. It feels invigorating to come here and be blown away at some of these articles. Others are softer… kinder… a bit more gentle on the awakening process. That’s what my site is all about.

TO EXPECT THE BEAUTIFUL AND UNEXPECTED.

I intend to put everything out there with Love. I don’t have time to tear anybody down with hatred, insults, or crude notions. That is not me, nor why I’m here. I will however, cuss and have my moments of outrage of insincerities if I need to. I haven’t published anything this year, because I’ve been struggling with writer’s block as well as feeling the pressure to not publish anything that may capture the attention of my LDS family or anyone else for that matter who isn’t prepared to read my blog, as well as not feeling support from friends and my boyfriend when it comes to reading my blog and participating in the comments or discussions. I will say things a lot of people aren’t ready to hear. And that is something I have been fighting with for a while.

I’ve come to realize, it’s all a bunch of bullshit in the end and if it makes me happy, I need to be okay with publishing something that may offend somebody else. Because after all, if I write what everyone wants to hear, I may never be satisfied. But if I am writing what I want to share with everybody, I am always happy I put it out there. These roads will twist and turn, but it is to thine own self, we be true! (Shout out to Shakespeare)

So Hi again. I am sorry for being a hidden asshole.
What I want to know from all of you is: What is something you have always loved to do, but no longer make the time for? Does it overwhelm you just by thinking about it? What made you stop and do you ever intend to pick it back up again? & most importantly, what is your happiness level with/without this hobby?

I look forward to chatting with you in the comment section below!

Peace of I,
Zynnia

Deep Breathing Challenge – Day #30

I didn’t give an update for my last two weeks, because I didn’t really have one. I have noticed a lot in my first two weeks of this challenge and there are also some realizations I have accepted through the process. It’s been a deep growth period for me and one I have truly enjoyed to the fullest.

I no longer get lightheaded,

when I deep breathe for yoga or meditation. Now that my body is used to spending, roughly half, of the time deep breathing naturally, it is better able to accommodate those activities where deep breathing is involved.


 

I can run farther, faster.

My strides are long as if I’m seven inches taller. My body takes off and flies through the scenery. Coming from a hometown in high altitude and thin air, it was already one thing to experience such thickness in the air here; being so close to sea level. Deep breathing has given me back my power to match my breathing to the environment. I used to compensate my breathing when I ran here, unsure of how exactly to measure my breaths. Sometimes I would breathe a lot of faster and sometimes just a little too shallow. I now understand the rhythm and flow to serve my body the best functioning for runs, jogs, and now… hikes!


I’ve stopped craving junk food as often.  

It was cookies every single night, chocolate of some sort every day, skipping meals and craving chocolate of any kind. Milk, carbs for all three meals, late night snacks, decrease in activity. The sluggish feeling became overwhelming. The clear thinking I have had from deeply breathing has not only filtered out unnecessary thoughts and slowed down my pace of speech, but it has given me clear and concise communication with the part of my brain that tells me when I am hungry and/or thirsty and what nutrients I actually need to fuel my body. I am listening intently as I gather what I need. The bag of Cadbury eggs in my fridge are not being touched [as often] as I thought they would be. They may just last until Winter…. don’t worry about the amount I bought. That’s not of importance. Fruits and veggies and water are once again, the biggest part of my diet. I crave cherries like I craved cookies. My breaths allow me to really feel my lungs expand and my heart beat at an appropriate rate. I feel the beating getting stronger everyday. My own heart is regaining it’s strength due to my breaths lengthening, inhibiting my mind to decide accurately what it is I need to put in my body to make this function last.


 

I have learned and accepted, that I can’t breathe deeply every single breath of every single moment of every day, but I can come back to deep breathing when I have stopped doing whatever it is that takes the focus of mind.

Such as conversations, being in the moment with friends, laughing, watching suspenseful movies, and even sleeping. Educating clients, reading a book. There are some things I do, where I just don’t think about my breathing. Although my breathing is no longer shallow like it used to naturally be, it is not as naturally deep as I had hoped. Although, can every breath be naturally so deep, comparable to meditation? Would we then be focused so hard on breathing that we actually get pulled away from being in the moment? That aspect was never my goal. Although, because I have spent every possible moment in these last thirty days, giving attention to my breath, I have learned that I am now spending half my time awake giving an in depth rise and fall of my rib cage, full expansion to my diaphragm, and a piece of mind to my body. I am less toxic on a cellular level, which in turn frees my mind, endocrine system, and skin of toxicity.

When I am engaged in something active, whether it be a soccer game, conversing with workmates and friends, indulged in books and movies, or exercising, although my breath is not actively opening up as when I am focused, it is opening much, much more, than it used to. My natural breath is now three times deeper than it used to be. I am calmer as a person in all aspects of my life. I am more confident without having nonsensical anxiety and worrisome thoughts. I take the time in all I do. I no longer rush my days. I no longer stir my brew of self-sabotage mixed with ingredients of time, fear, attention, and perfection.

 

This challenge has been one to remember forever. It has undoubtedly, answered the questions I could never have answered for me. It has forced me to look within not with shame, but acceptance and patience. It has allowed me to conquer aspects of myself I feared I would never be able to do. It has taught me that nothing about ourselves is permanent and we can improve our spirits in anyway we seem fit; all we have to do is commit.

I am twenty four mortal years old and am learning things I have not learned in all the others years my soul has walked this Earth. It’s humbling, it’s enlightening, and it’s moving. Thank you for allowing me to share this 30 day challenge experience with you. As always, I encourage you to venture on a 30 day challenge of your own! Big or small, physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental – challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone is one of the best experiences we can give ourselves. We thrive, we grow, and even surprise ourselves along the way.

We are all strong and wonderful.
Challenge yourself, today.

Money VS Meaning

Let me just give it you frank:


Being disrespected by an employer for the sake of receiving a paycheck, is comparable to staying in an abusive relationship out of the fear of being alone.


There comes a moment in everyone’s lives, when you have to put your foot down and say, “I am not okay with being treated like this!” followed by walking away from the situation. Carrying your dignity in one hand and self honor in the other.

 

I quit my job yesterday. What I did, was what I love. Working with animals is part of my purpose. It’s what makes me happy among the other passions in my life I hold. Who I did it for, was not what I loved. Allowing somebody to mistreat you is telling yourself that you deserve to be treated that way. Allowing somebody to call you names for no reason, insult your personality, and abuse your loyalty is telling yourself that you don’t matter.

Granted, even our dream job will haves waves of turmoil or frustrations through the moments of sunshine. Every job gives you an opportunity to ask yourself, “Is this turmoil worth it all?” If the answer is yes, congratulations! You’re right where you need to be in your journey. If the answer is no, you may want to start looking up new employment that will give you equal income sustainability, if not more; and shiploads more happiness.

It’s okay to stick up for yourself, no matter who it is speaking to you in a way that you don’t like. It’s okay to set boundaries of respect and tell your boss or owner of the company, “You know, that’s not okay with me. Please don’t speak to me in that way. That’s a line crosser for me” Warning once is good. It shows that you know where you stand with yourself and you are unafraid to stand your ground. Believe it or not, people in authority like this characteristics among their staff. It shows them that they have strong-willed staff. Some employers become threatened by a strong personality, and if that’s the case, what are you doing working for someone who isn’t secure within themselves? Respect by way of Fear is not how you and a team gain success. It’s not okay to deplete your own body to the point of exhaustion for someone else’s personal goals over your own. It’s not okay to diminish your own core morals and beliefs so someone else can rise and you stay in the same place, if you’re lucky. And it is not okay to be treated outside of being a human being by another, regardless of it being your boss; even if that boss is family.

 

Making an income is extremely important and most of the time, we have our best interest at heart when we say “I am going to work here until I can go to _______”. Well, now you’ve been in the same position for over five years and you work with people you dislike and your boss treats you like crud. And while you’re sitting in your workplace, working to live, daydreaming about what you could be doing for work, about what you want to invent, about what you truly would rather be doing right now. Feel your heartbeat. Notice your happiness levels? You can feel like that every single day and make your daydream a reality by working on it, one step at a time. Fifteen minutes go by, and your boss’ presence snaps you back into reality. You shake your head and tell yourself “I don’t even know why I’m bothering. But one day, I will get out of here.”
I just have one question for you.


 

EXACTLY WHEN, were you going to believe in your dream again?


That’s the issue we’re facing globally. Fighting about hierarchies of class, money, and power. Saying “I can’t do this because I don’t make enough. (even though I work over 60 hours a week, and that’s including overtime).” Telling yourself that it’s too risky to quit your job and get started on your dream. Reminding yourself of all the ways your dream will probably fail. And worst of all, listening to the people who don’t even believe in you!

Excuse my French, but what kind of crap is that? 

Every employer needs employees; that goes without saying. If you choose to settle for anything less than your dream, I hope to God that you’re at least passionate about what you do.

Take for example, The Office, on TV. They live, love, and fight like a family. They’ve all worked together for so long that they remain employed because it’s comfortable, regardless of their everyday surroundings. It pays the bills. It’s consistent. Plus, Michael Scott is a pretty hilarious boss, although entirely irresponsible and a possible reason for high blood pressure. But, how many of them do you see get excited when they tell the camera man that they’re going to probably work for Dunder Mifflin Paper Company forever? One. Dwight K. Schrute. He loves paper. He loves sales. Other than Schrute’s Family Beet Farm, he lives to sell paper to his clients. He does anything for his boss and for his company because his heart is in it. Everyone else will end up miserable, but Dwight has so much passion and purpose for the paper industry, that Jim’s pranks are nearly flies across the windshield to him. They won’t ever be a big enough to quit.

How many of you see yourselves as Toby’s? Your boss has a blatant distaste for you and makes sure you know that every single day. Your boss takes you for granted and harasses you, belittles you from clock in to clock out, and lives to embarrass you and give you a hard time. You do nothing on the outside. Your insides boil up with every glare and every comment. WHY ARE YOU STILL WORKING THERE? Do you really believe you have no other option? THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER OPTION.

How many of you are Angelia’s? You go to work everyday hating everybody you work with so much that you don’t care what you say to them. You’re rude and it doesn’t ruin your sleeping habits. You have a yearning to bond with the people of your workplace because they’re not your cats, but you’re just not willing to accept that other people believe in different things than you. At least cats can’t really disagree with you. Nobody cares to be around you, because your unpredictable moods have produced a warning sign across your forehead.

Whether you’re the person who is bullied at work, or you’re the person bullying; those are gianormous signs that you are not in the right place of employment. You can do so much better for yourself and you can make such a better impact on this World.


Nobody’s purpose is to develop depression, anxiety, and self-loathing by working for a person or a company that does not serve you respect or happiness. Whether you chase your dreams or settle, always know and believe that not one person in this World is meant to dread their work. 


Questions:

  • What kind of attitude do you bring with you to work?
  • Does your attitude help you or hurt you on your journey to success?
  • Is your attitude and journey taking you to where you want to be?
  • Do you feel respected at your job?
  • Is where you are right now with your employment a job or a career?
  • If it’s a career, are you still passionate about it?
  • Have you established yourself among a healthy environment that pushes each other to be the best you can be?
  • If it’s a job, is it still giving you want you wanted?
  • Is it still a stepping stone towards your dream?
  • Have you been using your downtime to work on what it is you wish to create?
  • Why are you still waiting? Why are you still putting it off?
  • If you are miserable, how many times have you had the discussion with yourself?
  • If you’re miserable, why aren’t you doing anything about it? 


WE SPEND A THIRD OF OUR LIVES ASLEEP, A THIRD OF OUR LIVES WORKING, AND A THIRD OF OUR LIVES JUST BEING.

So get yourself one hell of a mattress, one hell of a work placement, and always bask in the moment. 


I wish you all, the utmost happiness in your lives.