Tag Archives: drive

Wildfire.

I’m having revelation after revelation it seems since starting my last term at school. The middle three and fourth terms you really do get burned out. At least for our criteria. We are the graduating class EM1012,

We are the fearless class who spoke up and spoke loud and have made an impact that will forever last on the school.

I think my problem is that I have just taken a fake effect on everything in life. For some reason, a visual part of my life just seems to have a weird effect in my life now. The past comes back. I notice it more when I’m high with Lion.  I feel bad when I get to that point where I usually spend that “high time” by myself. And we do everything together. We both miss our alone time, and it’s fair that we both get that. We are just people.

I don’t think I have daddy issues at all. In fact, I have seldom issues with my father. But I am the part of him that I enjoy the most. He is my total opposite, and yet one of my favorite like-people in this World.

I know the person who holds my demons. Who stole me of my innocence.

You hear all the time that nobody has fears. “Oh, I’ve seen everything!” they shout, “I have no fears! ! There is nothing to fear in this World because man can do everything. We are forces able to connect with any flowing thing..”, and though that may be true, we can’t do everything all of the time and take on a Superwoman act without rest, without time alone. Burnt out and stressed out. Overloaded and unhappy. Rage and Creepy auras. Vasodialation and heated up with blood flowing. Exchanging energy to sustain the goal in mind. Which is to write! Write however it comes out, because sometimes this feels so much better then crying. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me. I feel horrible because Lion always thinks it’s about him and like he is the only thing that makes me unhappy. But he really doesn’t know about any other of my other stresses. I mainly don’t tell him my stresses or bad news. I don’t want him to stress out about me. I stress him out enough. I feel like an ugly person. Inside and out, ironically! Hahahaha!  I have always wondered if that manifests itself into our literal shape. Mental issues taking a shape onto your body.

I am sitting in the bedroom while my babs is out on the couch. I feel like he thinks these are moments where he can’t do anything. And it sucks, because I don’t know how to show him that I don’t care what he does in his personal life without him thinking that I’m being cynical or cunty. Because, I have a sick tendency to be pretty cunty. I say all sorts of things with my imaginative mind. I just let it flow out, as if I’m opening my subconscious, Of course, I strive to open to my Pituitary Gland. I have been realizing what parts of me I have been neglecting, and the Pituitary Gland is the all mighty. The connection to Third Eye.

I feel like I can’t even control the eyes I have now. I have a problem looking in the center of everything. As I’m typing, I am actually focusing directly in front of me. I’m losing a bit of my sense of time although I still know what’s going on in my home. The computer with the music playing is slowing making its way towards me and the harmonies bear in the meditation.

Bathroom Break.

I can’t justify my personality flaws nor the flaws of other people. I can’t blame my mother or any other outside influence that has many any subconscious impact in my life. The bottom line is: it has.

Whether it was a good or bad experience, it has made an impression in my life. Whether I acknowledge it or not, these life influences sit at the foundation of every life choice I make. I could go on and on and dive into every specific issue and I could pour my heart to you openly. That might make me feel better, if we could get by with treating symptom issues.

I don’t like treating symptoms with my clients, so what makes me think I want to treat symptoms with myself? The goal here is to change the root cause!

What I have now is new-found reality. I will not confine myself to thinking errors such as “I am this way because,__________” because that’s juvenile. In the end, it’s our energetic force-field that has allowed for the influence and whatever influence has made its way, must have needed to get in for a reason. I myself have blossomed into a person unlike any other, which is a praise on its own, because that’s what we should do as humans! We have the opportunity, the encouragement above all to live our passions. Being ourselves is something not many people in this World know they can be, and yet, it’s our birth right. Stripped away from some of us at birth, from government, from abusive environments, from report cards, and societal failures. In reality, we are the only person able to stop us; if we allow someone else to do that job, we might as well already be half dead.

Influence. Impression. Impact.

So how do I, and other people in the same type of situation, deal with this?

We acknowledge it. We accept it. We change it.
But how do we change it?

By developing new thinking habits. It’s the one controllable change we have upon ourselves. We read and write all the time lists and explanations of ways to improve our happiness, our general emotional state, and our mental clarity. Be positive. Change your realm of people. Take a Me Day. Create a Gratitude Journal. Try this, try that, and let me tell you how to live a happier life in less than 100 ways.

That’s not reality though, because not everybody has the same motivation or change rate. Not everyone’s problems come from their friends or jobs. Not everyone wants to give up their inner circle in order to have a peace of mind. Not everybody has to write in a gratitude journal to make their prayers validated. Again, all that does is fix the symptoms. So when the unhappiness creeps back in, it’s back to the drawing board.

The only thing we need to do when it comes to looking for change is our thought process. It’s the one aspect that drives every action, every perceptional view, every choice and emotion and reason for what we do. If we don’t think we sit. Our brain doesn’t know what else to do other than go with the flow. By re-training our thought patterns, we can project a better outcome for ourselves.

I’m not a scientist or psychologist. I can’t tell you ways on how to change your thought process, because I don’t know where your issues stem from. I also don’t have all the time in the World to hear about them as much as you don’t have all the time in the World to talk about them. And that’s okay. It’s not inhumane of me to not want to hear about it. You don’t know me from Eve, so why should you bear your innermost problems to me by way of verbal information?

I am a Professional Massage Therapist. A holistic body worker and firm believer in the connection with our Physical and Energetic bodies. Everyday I get to work with someone new and help facilitate the healing process for them to get back to their optimal level of health, by bringing them back in alignment with the gravitational pull and balancing out the energies and emotions that are inside. I get to communicate with bodies everyday and learn something new from someone. It’s truly a blessing what I do and I hope to do it my entire life.

You can’t fix your physical problems without fixing your energetic problems and vice versa. You can’t recognize your issues and continue to write a rain check on them in the hopes you will still progress. And you wonder why you’re not changing….

For me, I change my thought process by forcing positive thoughts my way if in the event they are in deep hiding. I fake it to make it sometimes. I am only human and it’s impossible to be consistently happy all of the time. We need down sides to even us out. We need a flushing of emotions to keep us in check that, hey! We’re humans. It’s what we do.

By becoming better in touch with ourselves and who we are, we need to make that connection solid between heart and mind. We need to listen to our bodies when it tells us something. We need not to fight the releasement our bodies crave. Our bodies need the releasement and would fulfill it’s craving if we didn’t let our pride and mind control get in the way. We have a right to live free of dis-ease. We have a right to bury our burdens and set the grave on fire.

 

We have a right to shine and grow and fulfill our passionate destinies.

It’s our birthright, to burn like Wildfire.

Rebirth

I have been having a big problem with writer’s block for the past while, especially when it comes to putting material up here on planetzynnia.com.

A lot of the times, when I am out and about in the city or on my bike or just lounging around the house, I think of articles to write, ideas flourishing in my head! I would tell myself, “I’m goin to remember this and jump on the computer when I get home and write this down!” And then I got home and….. nothing.

Sometimes, by the time I even got home, I couldn’t remember anything I had thought of that day. I can’t even begin to imagine all the ideas, stories, and words I have wanted to spill out on here – only to be disappointed by my own self.

After all, we are our own best sabotage.

Sometimes, I just allow my lazy tendencies to get in the way.
Sometimes, I worry more about the material on my website. I think to myself constantly, “Can I put that on my site? Can I expand on the topic enough to make an interesting read? If I swear, will I want to look forward to hearing it ruthlessly from my family because of it? Can I do this? Should I do that? What? Why? How?”

Question, question, question, question, question, question, question, question!
And no god damn answers!

I was driving home this past Saturday night from a two-day trip to Grand Junction, Colorado. I’ve come to not mind the four hour drive so much, because it’s a great time to mull over the thoughts spinning around in my head. I can shamelessly talk aloud to myself and give myself the time and patience to make sense of it all. One of the topics I had talked my own ear off about, is this topic today: the content here on planetzynnia.com.

I had to ask myself why I started the website in the first place. And this is what I came up with:

 

For the past nine years, I have faithfully kept a detailed journal of my life. Everyday, I would take time to write in my books. At any given point, someone could find me pulling it out of my bag, regardless of where I was – if I had to write, I had to write. Location was never a top concern. The older I got, the more friends and strangers started to notice. “Ashlyn and her diary..” people would say. “What do you write in there all the time?” people would ask.
Periodically, I would let trusted friends flip through my old diaries and allow them to really get a taste of my head. Why I think the way I think. That’s when I got the idea to write a memoir. And then I opened up my first livejournal account. And then, I expressed the idea of my own website to my former boyfriend who surprised me with the birth of this website back in 2011. I truly owe this all to him.

For the first while, getting subscribers weren’t my main concern. I never truly thought anyone would even find my website; let alone read my blogs. It continues to touch me and warm my heart with every recognition I get from the comments (the ones that don’t generate a thousand spam comments that is)

This website is still a baby in essence. Which means, I still have the choice to decide what type of website this is. Do I want it to be based on one category? A self-development blog? Animal blog? Massage Therapy blog? Beauty blog? Stories? – This “blog type” was half the battle!

It wasn’t until my drive home this past Saturday night, I realized, I am one of a kind. My thoughts are unique, my person is original, my life experiences are truly diverse and interesting all in their own. When you go onto Planetzynnia.com, you never really know what you’ll read that day and that’s the beauty behind it. It’s what sets me apart from others, it’s what wakes me up in the morning and feeds my passion. Being different and being unafraid is what I want to show the World.

I want to demolish stereotypical expectations. I want to bring people together through words, pictures, and a good story. I want to encourage those who can relate to the trials I have been through. I want to give the faith back to people who may be questioning their path or life-long desires. That’s who I am.

I am an Earth Peacemaker. I am a Fire Wizard. I am a Water Philosopher.

I am Ashlyn Zynnia Campbell.

And this is the re-birth, of Planetzynnia,com.

 

Welcome friends.

photo credit: Dylan Guest Art

Today Is the Day!

What are you waiting for?

“Today is the oldest you have ever been and the youngest you will ever be again.”

I just read that from Marc and Angels blog about twelve negative thinking errors that hold you back. This is one quote that stuck out to me.

Life is too short and goes by waaaay too fast for us to keep sitting around and making up excuses as to why we’re not doing the things we say we want to do. We always say there is tomorrow, but what if tomorrow never comes?

The problem with procrastination (for anything) is that we have no solid guarantee of today.

“Oh we’ll, there is always tomorrow.”

“Well, I suppose it’s not that big of a deal if I don’t get this done right now.”

The God honest truth is that the more time we spend thinking about something, the less likely we are to do it.

Well guys, the ugly truth is: thinking about something will not get it done.
“But I’m waiting until everything is just perfect.”

No! Stop waiting!
If we waited until everything is perfect than we may as well never do anything, because perfection isn’t real.

What is perfect anyway? If perfection was real and it was attainable, we would easily be able to reach it (for those of us who wanted to, and…. who wouldn’t?) Within reaching the said “perfection”, we would all be the same. And if we were all the same, we would all be eating at Taco Bell.
Booooring…….

Perfection is overrated.

So don’t wait until you are perfect to try and accomplish something.
That will never come.

Now here’s my secret. For as long as I can remember, I have procrastinated on doing something because of my fear of the unknown. What if I’m not good enough? What if I ruin it? What if it makes no sense? What if nobody else likes it? I will start it when I get better at it, practicing first. Hell, I have always been good at making excuses for not starting (or finishing) a project or hobby. And I was comfortable about it. It didn’t strike me as bad that I was just doing the bare minimum. I never had an urge to care. I didn’t bother me that I wasn’t doing something progressive, because in my mind, I needed it to be perfect before I could start. I wanted to be the one who was just good at everything, all the time.

Well, that kind of dreaming didn’t take me very far.

The only thing I ever kept up with was writing in my diary. I wrote (and still write) in my diary, every single day. Writing takes up a big majority of my life. I failed in working out because I wanted to just be perfectly tiny already. I failed in sports because I just wasn’t as good as I wanted to be. I failed in gymnastics because my sister quit and I didn’t want to do it alone. Swimming – I couldn’t trust my body to float. Piano – I couldn’t read music easily.
Whatever it was, I quit before I gave myself enough time to practice. I have repeatedly underestimated the power of my brain and skills.

I would think about, what if I did become good? How would it change my life? What if I ended up hating it? Would I feel as if it were all a waste of time?

So many effing questions that seemed so important, now a mere chuckle when I think of them. Now, looking back on my life, I wish I had followed through with all the habits and activities I tried to start many years ago. Where it would it have taken me? I have no idea! But that doesn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that doing them made me happy. It broadened my horizons, taught me teamwork and how to put in real effort. It taught me selflessness and integrity. You can learn and grow from your habits, passions, and daily activities if you want to.

The bottom line: I was just lazy.

So one day, quite literally actually, I woke up and after having my first digressing thought, I yelled in my head, “No! Fuck that! I’m not letting this happen anymore!” And you better believe, from that moment, I did everything I said I would do. I finished projects, got in the shape that was right for me, discovered a love for yoga, finished book after book, and started making dreams happen!

Letting laziness, procrastination, or the fear of the unknown stop you from doing what you really want to do is not the best excuse. I know you can do better than that. Because I would make up so many excuses, it’s natural for me to smell an excuse a mile away. And if you let yourself become so acquainted with them, it will bring you down.

Who cares if it takes you one whole session of martial arts just to learn stretches? So you only lost three pounds this month, is that horrible compared to losing none?

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was the Great Wall of China.
Everything good and legendary in life takes time.


Photo Credit: Larry for BeckerBiz

So I ask again, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Go learn about the new interest you have! Progress! Improve! Push yourself to be the best you want to be! It’s up to you and no one else. If there’s no sacrifice to be made, then there’s no gain. No pain, no gain. Ya mean? You have the means, now just get the drive.

It’s a lot easier than you think. A lot more rewarding than you expect. And a lot more fulfilling than you will ever know.

So whatever it is you want to do, START TODAY.
Because it you wait now, you will wait forever.