Tag Archives: belief

Insecurities

We all have them.
One way or another.
But why is it we are allowing ourselves to be victimized by our fears?
We project our fear falling reality onto other people and lash out at people who react to our insecurities, and maybe we do so because we just can’t admit that we know how silly it is.

Insecurities stop us from evolving intoĀ our full potential.

For example: I love writing. It’s my first love, my true love, my therapy, my EVERYTHING. But look at my blog: always empty! Don’t you just want to kick me?! (Please don’t though šŸ™‚ ) The archives are, sporadic, for lack of a better word.Ā All I have ever wanted was to be blogger and writer. Isn’t that hilarious? So what exactly is stopping me?

CREATIVE ANXIETY.

It’sĀ something I am just diving into. Why and how could I not have time for my biggest passion? Why and how could I be scared of presenting to the public what my most favorite thing in the World is? BECAUSE I HAVE AN INSECURITY ABOUT IT. But what caused this insecurity? That’s what I’m going to find out.

You’re going to hopefully learn from my experience first hand on what it means to hit a road block, acknowledge the road block, admit out loud what your problem is, and create a plan to change it.

With my clients, we work as a team together through our massage and bodywork sessions to analyze the traumas that are stuck within the body. When people hear “trauma” they automatically assume the worst kind. That’s not always the case.

It’s also not always the case that trauma to the body is always emotional or a big scene like a movie. As a therapist who does help a lot with the release of emotional trauma, I’d like to believe everything can be that simple. But sometimes, the physical trauma comes from a psychological negative thought pattern; sometimes it’s a trauma simply by overusing the muscle with not enough recovery routine added in.

OUR TRAUMAS BECOME OUR ROAD BLOCKS.

But that doesn’t mean we stop the journey. We have to work to get the road block off the road so we can move forward. There is something truly magical about befriending anxiety, facing our fears with uncertainty of what will come next, and stepping into the darkness.

So what is my plan?
I am going to publish one new article every ten days. I am going to write on my cute little desk calendar the title of my article ideas and I’m going to give myself dates to draft, dates to revise, and dates to publish!
You: “But Ashlyn, what if you forget? What if you get lazy?”
I am so glad you asked. I’ve appointed several people my accountibilibuddies to lend me some motivation when mine fails. And yes, I’m working on my Solar Plexus, kay?! šŸ˜‰

One of my SoulCycle instructors, once said in class, “It doesn’t matter how much you fall off the wagon in life…… as long as you don’t give up, and you get back on.” This quote hasĀ penetrated my gut and demands to stick with me through this phase of life. We have so many wagons of life and it’s my personal obsession to look into the psychology around it and find the ‘why’ of it all.

I know I’ve got nothing to truly worry about other than rejection. And neither do you! Rejection sucks, but what’s the worst that comes from it? We try to force ourselves to appeal to people who don’t dig our style? One of the most important things I’ve learned from working in clubs during my younger years is that there is ALWAYS someone that is appealing to a specific group.

I’m going to stop breaking my back to try and appeal to people who don’t give a damn. And you should, too! If you’re going out of your way to change your ways in order to gain appreciation, admiration, or adoration from someone(s) and they’re repeatedly not into it – fuck ’em! Remember how super kickass you are and realize they’re rejection is a blessing – because it’s pointing you in the direction of your correct path for THIS lifetime.

Never. Stop. Moving. Forward.

If y’all give up because you get embarrassed or sad that people don’t like your talent, then you’re giving mortal, unconnected beings the power to make you feel inferior and you’re also spitting in the face of the Divine Creator who gave you this gift in the first place, and you know what makes you look like a real asshole?
Outwardly hating the gift you got that was so thoughtfully placed for you, just because your “friends” don’t respect what you’re trying to do in life.

Decide for yourself, what it is you’re trying to bring into the World. And then take a look within and find out what your attached insecurities are about it and express them to yourself. If you feel comfortable expressing it to other people, pick your crowd wisely if you want to, or come here and discuss it in the comments section! If you have an insecurity you really want to overcome, follow these steps:

  1. Acknowledge your Insecurity.
  2. Determine your road block(s)
    2A. Create a plan to overcome that blockage.
  3. Make a positive plan of action to work through that insecurity
    3A. Find therapy (i.e. workout, mediation, long walks, talking to an angel, talking to your dog, writing letters to your subconscious/enemies/parents/person who shattered your heart, psychologist – in person or through Talkspace, or vent!)
  4. Dub someone(s) your accountibilibuddy. Ask them to keep you from falling off the wagon. Pick someone you trust and most importantly, someone who really gives a shit about what you’re trying to accomplish in Life.
  5. Give yourself time. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but just fake it til you make it. Take baby steps towards your new you. Be easy on yourself for God’s sake.
  6. AND START RE-TRAINING YOUR BRAIN TO NOT BE SUCH A JERK! Seriously. Train yourself to STOP talking down on your own being! Stop playing out these awful scenarios. When your brain starts to go to those dark places, just tell it to stop and then repeat a positive mantra over and over again. Train your brain to utilize “down time” to repeat mantra’s that help you manifest that kickass life.

Don’t ever stop believing in yourself, and I won’t either okay?

 

Love Always,

Zynnia.

Wildfire.

I’m having revelation after revelation it seems since starting my last term at school. The middle three and fourth terms you really do get burned out. At least for our criteria. We are the graduating class EM1012,

We are the fearless class who spoke up and spoke loud and have made an impact that will forever last on the school.

I think my problem is that I have just taken a fake effect on everything in life. For some reason, a visual part of my life just seems to have a weird effect in my life now. The past comes back. I notice it more when I’m high with Lion. Ā I feel bad when I get to that point where I usually spend that “high time” by myself. And we do everything together. We both miss our alone time, and it’s fair that we both get that. We are just people.

I don’t think I have daddy issues at all. In fact, I have seldom issues with my father. But I am the part of him that I enjoy the most. He is my total opposite, and yet one of my favorite like-people in this World.

I know the person who holds my demons. Who stole me of my innocence.

You hear all the time that nobody has fears. “Oh, I’ve seen everything!” they shout, “I have no fears! ! There is nothing to fear in this World because man can do everything. We are forces able to connect with any flowing thing..”, and though that may be true, we can’t do everything all of the time and take on a Superwoman act without rest, without time alone. Burnt out and stressed out. Overloaded and unhappy. Rage and Creepy auras. Vasodialation and heated up with blood flowing. Exchanging energy to sustain the goal in mind. Which is to write! Write however it comes out, because sometimes this feels so much better then crying. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me. I feel horrible because Lion always thinks it’s about him and like he is the only thing that makes me unhappy. But he really doesn’t know about any other of my other stresses. I mainly don’t tell him my stresses or bad news. I don’t want him to stress out about me. I stress him out enough. I feel like an ugly person. Inside and out, ironically! Hahahaha! Ā I have always wondered if that manifests itself into our literal shape. Mental issues taking a shape onto your body.

I am sitting in the bedroom while my babs is out on the couch. I feel like he thinks these are moments where he can’t do anything. And it sucks, because I don’t know how to show him that I don’t care what he does in his personal life without him thinking that I’m being cynical or cunty. Because, I have a sick tendency to be pretty cunty. I say all sorts of things with my imaginative mind. I just let it flow out, as if I’m opening my subconscious, Of course, I strive to open to my Pituitary Gland. I have been realizing what parts of me I have been neglecting, and the Pituitary Gland is the all mighty. The connection to Third Eye.

I feel like I can’t even control the eyes I have now. I have a problem looking in the center of everything. As I’m typing, I am actually focusing directly in front of me. I’m losing a bit of my sense of time although I still know what’s going on in my home. The computer with the music playing is slowing making its way towards me and the harmonies bear in the meditation.

Bathroom Break.

I can’t justify my personality flaws nor the flaws of other people. I can’t blame my mother or any other outside influence that has many any subconscious impact in my life. The bottom line is: it has.

Whether it was a good or bad experience, it has made an impression in my life. Whether I acknowledge it or not, these life influences sit at the foundation of every life choice I make. I could go on and on and dive into every specific issue and I could pour my heart to you openly. That might make me feel better, if we could get by with treating symptom issues.

I don’t like treating symptoms with my clients, so what makes me think I want to treat symptoms with myself? The goal here is to change the root cause!

What I have now is new-found reality. I will not confine myself to thinking errors such as “I am this way because,__________” because that’s juvenile. In the end, it’s our energetic force-field that has allowed for the influence and whatever influence has made its way, must have needed to get in for a reason. I myself have blossomed into a person unlike any other, which is a praise on its own, because that’s what we should do as humans! We have the opportunity, theĀ encouragementĀ above all to live our passions. Being ourselves is something not many people in this World know they can be, and yet, it’s our birth right. Stripped away from some of us at birth, from government, from abusive environments, from report cards, and societal failures. In reality, we are the only person able to stop us; if we allow someone else to do that job, we might as well already be half dead.

Influence. Impression. Impact.

So how do I, and other people in the same type of situation, deal with this?

We acknowledge it. We accept it. We change it.
But how do we change it?

By developing new thinking habits. It’s the one controllable change we have upon ourselves. We read and write all the time lists and explanations of ways to improve our happiness, our general emotional state, and our mental clarity. Be positive. Change your realm of people. Take a Me Day. Create a Gratitude Journal. Try this, try that, and let me tell you how to live a happier life in less than 100 ways.

That’s not reality though, because not everybody has the same motivation or change rate. Not everyone’s problems come from their friends or jobs. Not everyone wants to give up their inner circle in order to have a peace of mind. Not everybody has to write in a gratitude journal to make their prayers validated. Again, all that does is fix the symptoms. So when the unhappiness creeps back in, it’s back to the drawing board.

The only thing we need to do when it comes to looking for change is our thought process. It’s the one aspect that drives every action, every perceptional view, every choice and emotion and reason for what we do. If we don’t think we sit. Our brain doesn’t know what else to do other than go with the flow. By re-training our thought patterns, we can project a better outcome for ourselves.

I’m not a scientist or psychologist. I can’t tell you ways on how to change your thought process, because I don’t know where your issues stem from. I also don’t have all the time in the World to hear about them as much as you don’t have all the time in the World to talk about them. And that’s okay. It’s not inhumane of me to not want to hear about it. You don’t know me from Eve, so why should you bear your innermost problems to me by way of verbal information?

I am a Professional Massage Therapist. A holistic body worker and firm believer in the connection with our Physical and Energetic bodies. Everyday I get to work with someone new and help facilitate the healing process for them to get back to their optimal level of health, by bringing them back in alignment with the gravitational pull and balancing out the energies and emotions that are inside. I get to communicate with bodies everyday and learn something new from someone. It’s truly a blessing what I do and I hope to do it my entire life.

You can’t fix your physical problems without fixing your energetic problems and vice versa. You can’t recognize your issues and continue to write a rain check on them in the hopes you will still progress. And you wonder why you’re not changing….

For me, I change my thought process by forcing positive thoughts my way if in the event they are in deep hiding. I fake it to make it sometimes. I am only human and it’s impossible to be consistently happy all of the time. We need down sides to even us out. We need a flushing of emotions to keep us in check that, hey! We’re humans. It’s what we do.

By becoming better in touch with ourselves and who we are, we need to make that connection solid between heart and mind. We need to listen to our bodies when it tells us something. We need not to fight the releasement our bodies crave. Our bodies need the releasement and would fulfill it’s craving if we didn’t let our pride and mind control get in the way. We have a right to live free of dis-ease. We have a right to bury our burdens and set the grave on fire.

 

We have a right to shine and grow and fulfill our passionate destinies.

It’s our birthright, to burn like Wildfire.