Tag Archives: anxiety

Insecurities

We all have them.
One way or another.
But why is it we are allowing ourselves to be victimized by our fears?
We project our fear falling reality onto other people and lash out at people who react to our insecurities, and maybe we do so because we just can’t admit that we know how silly it is.

Insecurities stop us from evolving into our full potential.

For example: I love writing. It’s my first love, my true love, my therapy, my EVERYTHING. But look at my blog: always empty! Don’t you just want to kick me?! (Please don’t though ūüôā ) The archives are, sporadic, for lack of a better word.¬†All I have ever wanted was to be blogger and writer. Isn’t that hilarious? So what exactly is stopping me?

CREATIVE ANXIETY.

It’s¬†something I am just diving into. Why and how could I not have time for my biggest passion? Why and how could I be scared of presenting to the public what my most favorite thing in the World is? BECAUSE I HAVE AN INSECURITY ABOUT IT. But what caused this insecurity? That’s what I’m going to find out.

You’re going to hopefully learn from my experience first hand on what it means to hit a road block, acknowledge the road block, admit out loud what your problem is, and create a plan to change it.

With my clients, we work as a team together through our massage and bodywork sessions to analyze the traumas that are stuck within the body. When people hear “trauma” they automatically assume the worst kind. That’s not always the case.

It’s also not always the case that trauma to the body is always emotional or a big scene like a movie. As a therapist who does help a lot with the release of emotional trauma, I’d like to believe everything can be that simple. But sometimes, the physical trauma comes from a psychological negative thought pattern; sometimes it’s a trauma simply by overusing the muscle with not enough recovery routine added in.

OUR TRAUMAS BECOME OUR ROAD BLOCKS.

But that doesn’t mean we stop the journey. We have to work to get the road block off the road so we can move forward. There is something truly magical about befriending anxiety, facing our fears with uncertainty of what will come next, and stepping into the darkness.

So what is my plan?
I am going to publish one new article every ten days. I am going to write on my cute little desk calendar the title of my article ideas and I’m going to give myself dates to draft, dates to revise, and dates to publish!
You: “But Ashlyn, what if you forget? What if you get lazy?”
I am so glad you asked. I’ve appointed several people my accountibilibuddies to lend me some motivation when mine fails. And yes, I’m working on my Solar Plexus, kay?! ūüėČ

One of my SoulCycle instructors, once said in class, “It doesn’t matter how much you fall off the wagon in life…… as long as you don’t give up, and you get back on.” This quote has¬†penetrated my gut and demands to stick with me through this phase of life. We have so many wagons of life and it’s my personal obsession to look into the psychology around it and find the ‘why’ of it all.

I know I’ve got nothing to truly worry about other than rejection. And neither do you! Rejection sucks, but what’s the worst that comes from it? We try to force ourselves to appeal to people who don’t dig our style? One of the most important things I’ve learned from working in clubs during my younger years is that there is ALWAYS someone that is appealing to a specific group.

I’m going to stop breaking my back to try and appeal to people who don’t give a damn. And you should, too! If you’re going out of your way to change your ways in order to gain appreciation, admiration, or adoration from someone(s) and they’re repeatedly not into it – fuck ’em! Remember how super kickass you are and realize they’re rejection is a blessing – because it’s pointing you in the direction of your correct path for THIS lifetime.

Never. Stop. Moving. Forward.

If y’all give up because you get embarrassed or sad that people don’t like your talent, then you’re giving mortal, unconnected beings the power to make you feel inferior and you’re also spitting in the face of the Divine Creator who gave you this gift in the first place, and you know what makes you look like a real asshole?
Outwardly hating the gift you got that was so thoughtfully placed for you, just because your “friends” don’t respect what you’re trying to do in life.

Decide for yourself, what it is you’re trying to bring into the World. And then take a look within and find out what your attached insecurities are about it and express them to yourself. If you feel comfortable expressing it to other people, pick your crowd wisely if you want to, or come here and discuss it in the comments section! If you have an insecurity you really want to overcome, follow these steps:

  1. Acknowledge your Insecurity.
  2. Determine your road block(s)
    2A. Create a plan to overcome that blockage.
  3. Make a positive plan of action to work through that insecurity
    3A. Find therapy (i.e. workout, mediation, long walks, talking to an angel, talking to your dog, writing letters to your subconscious/enemies/parents/person who shattered your heart, psychologist – in person or through Talkspace, or vent!)
  4. Dub someone(s) your accountibilibuddy. Ask them to keep you from falling off the wagon. Pick someone you trust and most importantly, someone who really gives a shit about what you’re trying to accomplish in Life.
  5. Give yourself time. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but just fake it til you make it. Take baby steps towards your new you. Be easy on yourself for God’s sake.
  6. AND START RE-TRAINING YOUR BRAIN TO NOT BE SUCH A JERK! Seriously. Train yourself to STOP talking down on your own being! Stop playing out these awful scenarios. When your brain starts to go to those dark places, just tell it to stop and then repeat a positive mantra over and over again. Train your brain to utilize “down time” to repeat mantra’s that help you manifest that kickass life.

Don’t ever stop believing in yourself, and I won’t either okay?

 

Love Always,

Zynnia.

Money VS Meaning

Let me just give it you frank:


Being disrespected by an employer for the sake of receiving a paycheck, is comparable to staying in an abusive relationship out of the fear of being alone.


There comes a moment in everyone’s lives, when you have to put your foot down and say, “I am not okay with being treated like this!” followed by walking away from the situation. Carrying your dignity in one hand and self honor in the other.

 

I quit my job yesterday. What I did, was what I love. Working with animals is part of my purpose. It’s what makes me happy among the other passions in my life I hold. Who I did it for,¬†was not what I loved.¬†Allowing somebody to mistreat you is telling yourself that you deserve to be treated that way. Allowing somebody to call you names for no reason, insult your personality, and abuse your loyalty is telling yourself that you don’t matter.

Granted, even our dream job will haves waves of turmoil or frustrations through the moments of sunshine. Every job gives you an opportunity to ask yourself, “Is this turmoil worth it all?” If the answer is yes, congratulations! You’re right where you need to be in your journey. If the answer is no, you may want to start looking up new employment that will give you equal income sustainability, if not more; and shiploads more happiness.

It’s okay to stick up for yourself, no matter who it is speaking to you in a way that you don’t like. It’s okay to set boundaries of respect and tell your boss or owner of the company, “You know, that’s not okay with me. Please don’t speak to me in that way. That’s a line crosser for me” Warning once is good. It shows that you know where you stand with yourself and you are unafraid to stand your ground. Believe it or not, people in authority like this characteristics among their staff. It shows them that they have strong-willed staff. Some employers become threatened by a strong personality, and if that’s the case, what are you doing working for someone who isn’t secure within themselves? Respect by way of Fear is not how you and a team gain success. It’s not okay to deplete your own body to the point of exhaustion for someone else’s personal goals over your own. It’s not okay to diminish your own core morals and beliefs so someone else can rise and you stay in the same place, if you’re lucky. And it is not okay to be treated outside of being a human being by another, regardless of it being your boss; even if that boss is family.

 

Making an income is extremely important¬†and most of the time, we have our best interest at heart when we say “I am going to work here until I can go to _______”. Well, now you’ve been in the same position for over five years and you work with people you dislike and your boss treats you like crud.¬†And while you’re sitting in your workplace, working to live, daydreaming about what you could be doing for work, about what you want to invent, about what you truly would rather be doing right now. Feel your heartbeat. Notice your happiness levels? You can feel like that every single day and make your daydream a reality by working on¬†it, one step at a time. Fifteen minutes go by, and your boss’ presence snaps you back into reality. You shake your head and tell yourself “I don’t even know why I’m bothering. But one day, I will get out of here.”
I just have one question for you.


 

EXACTLY WHEN, were you going to believe in your dream again?


That’s the issue we’re facing globally. Fighting about hierarchies of class, money, and power. Saying “I can’t do this because I don’t make enough. (even though I work over 60 hours a week, and that’s¬†including overtime).” Telling yourself that it’s too risky to quit your job and get started on your dream. Reminding yourself of all the ways your dream will probably fail. And worst of all, listening to the people who don’t even believe in you!

Excuse my French, but what kind of crap is that? 

Every employer needs employees; that goes without saying. If you choose to settle for anything less than your dream, I hope to God that you’re at least passionate about what you do.

Take for example, The Office, on TV. They live, love, and fight like a family. They’ve all worked together for so long that they remain employed because it’s comfortable, regardless of their everyday surroundings. It pays the bills. It’s consistent. Plus, Michael Scott is a pretty hilarious boss, although entirely irresponsible and a possible reason for high blood pressure. But, how many of them do you see get excited when they tell the camera man that they’re going to probably work for Dunder Mifflin Paper Company forever? One.¬†Dwight K. Schrute. He loves paper. He loves sales. Other than Schrute’s Family Beet Farm, he lives¬†to sell paper to his clients. He does anything for his boss and for his company because his heart is in it. Everyone else will end up miserable, but Dwight has so much passion and purpose for the paper industry, that Jim’s pranks are nearly flies across the windshield to him. They won’t ever be a big enough to quit.

How many of you see yourselves as Toby’s? Your boss has a blatant distaste for you and makes sure you know that every single day. Your boss takes you for granted and harasses you, belittles you from clock in to clock out, and lives to embarrass you and give you a hard time. You do nothing on the outside. Your insides boil up with every glare and every comment. WHY ARE YOU STILL WORKING THERE? Do you really believe you have no other option? THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER OPTION.

How many of you are Angelia’s? You go to work everyday hating everybody you work with so much that you don’t¬†care¬†what you say to them. You’re rude and it doesn’t ruin your sleeping habits. You have a yearning to bond with the people of your workplace because they’re not your cats, but you’re just not willing to accept that other people believe in different things than you. At least cats can’t really disagree with you. Nobody cares to be around you, because your unpredictable moods have produced a warning sign across your forehead.

Whether you’re the person who is bullied at work, or you’re the person bullying; those are gianormous signs that you are not in the right place of employment. You can do so much better for yourself and you can make such a better impact on this World.


Nobody’s purpose is to develop depression, anxiety, and self-loathing by working for a person or a company that does not serve you respect or happiness. Whether you chase your dreams or settle, always know and believe that not one person in this World is meant to dread their work.¬†


Questions:

  • What kind of attitude do you bring with you to work?
  • Does your attitude help you or hurt you on your journey to success?
  • Is your attitude and journey taking you to where you want to be?
  • Do you feel respected at your job?
  • Is where you are right now with your employment a job or a career?
  • If it’s a career, are you still passionate about it?
  • Have you established yourself among a healthy environment that pushes each other to be the best you can be?
  • If it’s a job, is it still giving you want you wanted?
  • Is it still a stepping stone towards your dream?
  • Have you been using your downtime to work on what it is you wish to create?
  • Why are you still waiting? Why are you still putting it off?
  • If you are miserable, how many times have you had the discussion with yourself?
  • If you’re miserable, why aren’t you doing anything about it?¬†


WE SPEND A THIRD OF OUR LIVES ASLEEP, A THIRD OF OUR LIVES WORKING, AND A THIRD OF OUR LIVES JUST BEING.

So get yourself one hell of a mattress, one hell of a work placement, and always bask in the moment. 


I wish you all, the utmost happiness in your lives.