Insecurities

We all have them.
One way or another.
But why is it we are allowing ourselves to be victimized by our fears?
We project our fear falling reality onto other people and lash out at people who react to our insecurities, and maybe we do so because we just can’t admit that we know how silly it is.

Insecurities stop us from evolving intoĀ our full potential.

For example: I love writing. It’s my first love, my true love, my therapy, my EVERYTHING. But look at my blog: always empty! Don’t you just want to kick me?! (Please don’t though šŸ™‚ ) The archives are, sporadic, for lack of a better word.Ā All I have ever wanted was to be blogger and writer. Isn’t that hilarious? So what exactly is stopping me?

CREATIVE ANXIETY.

It’sĀ something I am just diving into. Why and how could I not have time for my biggest passion? Why and how could I be scared of presenting to the public what my most favorite thing in the World is? BECAUSE I HAVE AN INSECURITY ABOUT IT. But what caused this insecurity? That’s what I’m going to find out.

You’re going to hopefully learn from my experience first hand on what it means to hit a road block, acknowledge the road block, admit out loud what your problem is, and create a plan to change it.

With my clients, we work as a team together through our massage and bodywork sessions to analyze the traumas that are stuck within the body. When people hear “trauma” they automatically assume the worst kind. That’s not always the case.

It’s also not always the case that trauma to the body is always emotional or a big scene like a movie. As a therapist who does help a lot with the release of emotional trauma, I’d like to believe everything can be that simple. But sometimes, the physical trauma comes from a psychological negative thought pattern; sometimes it’s a trauma simply by overusing the muscle with not enough recovery routine added in.

OUR TRAUMAS BECOME OUR ROAD BLOCKS.

But that doesn’t mean we stop the journey. We have to work to get the road block off the road so we can move forward. There is something truly magical about befriending anxiety, facing our fears with uncertainty of what will come next, and stepping into the darkness.

So what is my plan?
I am going to publish one new article every ten days. I am going to write on my cute little desk calendar the title of my article ideas and I’m going to give myself dates to draft, dates to revise, and dates to publish!
You: “But Ashlyn, what if you forget? What if you get lazy?”
I am so glad you asked. I’ve appointed several people my accountibilibuddies to lend me some motivation when mine fails. And yes, I’m working on my Solar Plexus, kay?! šŸ˜‰

One of my SoulCycle instructors, once said in class, “It doesn’t matter how much you fall off the wagon in life…… as long as you don’t give up, and you get back on.” This quote hasĀ penetrated my gut and demands to stick with me through this phase of life. We have so many wagons of life and it’s my personal obsession to look into the psychology around it and find the ‘why’ of it all.

I know I’ve got nothing to truly worry about other than rejection. And neither do you! Rejection sucks, but what’s the worst that comes from it? We try to force ourselves to appeal to people who don’t dig our style? One of the most important things I’ve learned from working in clubs during my younger years is that there is ALWAYS someone that is appealing to a specific group.

I’m going to stop breaking my back to try and appeal to people who don’t give a damn. And you should, too! If you’re going out of your way to change your ways in order to gain appreciation, admiration, or adoration from someone(s) and they’re repeatedly not into it – fuck ’em! Remember how super kickass you are and realize they’re rejection is a blessing – because it’s pointing you in the direction of your correct path for THIS lifetime.

Never. Stop. Moving. Forward.

If y’all give up because you get embarrassed or sad that people don’t like your talent, then you’re giving mortal, unconnected beings the power to make you feel inferior and you’re also spitting in the face of the Divine Creator who gave you this gift in the first place, and you know what makes you look like a real asshole?
Outwardly hating the gift you got that was so thoughtfully placed for you, just because your “friends” don’t respect what you’re trying to do in life.

Decide for yourself, what it is you’re trying to bring into the World. And then take a look within and find out what your attached insecurities are about it and express them to yourself. If you feel comfortable expressing it to other people, pick your crowd wisely if you want to, or come here and discuss it in the comments section! If you have an insecurity you really want to overcome, follow these steps:

  1. Acknowledge your Insecurity.
  2. Determine your road block(s)
    2A. Create a plan to overcome that blockage.
  3. Make a positive plan of action to work through that insecurity
    3A. Find therapy (i.e. workout, mediation, long walks, talking to an angel, talking to your dog, writing letters to your subconscious/enemies/parents/person who shattered your heart, psychologist – in person or through Talkspace, or vent!)
  4. Dub someone(s) your accountibilibuddy. Ask them to keep you from falling off the wagon. Pick someone you trust and most importantly, someone who really gives a shit about what you’re trying to accomplish in Life.
  5. Give yourself time. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but just fake it til you make it. Take baby steps towards your new you. Be easy on yourself for God’s sake.
  6. AND START RE-TRAINING YOUR BRAIN TO NOT BE SUCH A JERK! Seriously. Train yourself to STOP talking down on your own being! Stop playing out these awful scenarios. When your brain starts to go to those dark places, just tell it to stop and then repeat a positive mantra over and over again. Train your brain to utilize “down time” to repeat mantra’s that help you manifest that kickass life.

Don’t ever stop believing in yourself, and I won’t either okay?

 

Love Always,

Zynnia.

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