Uncategorized

In With The New

 

 

 

I’ve come to a fork in the road. I can either keep trying to do what I’ve (unsuccessfully) done for fear of offending anyone, or I can move in the direction that sparked this whole thing in the first place. With that being said…. Things are going to change a bit around here. They are just a few things:

1. Swearing

I am no longer going to stop swearing on my site just because it’s public and my family has the potential to all see it. It’s my site and the whole point behind it is that I can come out with whatever I want, when I want. You never what to expect from my posts, unless I am doing a series. I don’t stick to just one topic. My blog isn’t necessarily a destination blog where you can find all things in just one subject. Although, that’s why Category lists were created.

I don’t have crazy shit on my blog. No flashy banners or sales with jewelry or eBooks (although maybe one day). Just words and posts, some with pictures, some without. I am in the middle of creating some awesome stuff though on the side, so I will let you know about that when I do and then perhaps Planet Zynnia will have some sort of flashiness to it.

What I do have is sass. And a lot of it. That’s why I come here. To my WordPress safe haven. To educate, challenge, and get you uncomfortable. I am a shell-breaker and break shells I will. There is no growth inside of the comfort zone. I’m also known to drop an F-bomb or two, which is why, if you subscribe – you know what may come of it. This is your only warning though. If cussing makes you uncomfortable, this is your chance to back away. Of course it won’t be in every post and I will never use profanities in such a way that is demoralizing, demeaning, insulting, derogatory, and otherwise disrespectful.

My father always said that someone who swears a lot shows a lower sign of intelligence. I always loved that and I remember taking on a 30 Day Challenge back in 2012 of Not Swearing for 30 Days because I cussed like a sailor. I would be lying if I told you it didn’t work. Ever since that challenge, I have severely lowered my swearing and do my best to only cuss when necessary.

What is a swear word anyway, other than society’s level of shock at a word? I was told as a kid that ‘bastard’ is a swear word and ‘hell’ is a swear word. I mean, if the word ‘hate’ is so strong – should that be added into the swear word category? Because we could do this all day – pick out words that are and are not “politically correct” and just throw them into the mix. We could take any word that we find personally offensive and give it the “bad word” label. There are certainly a few words I consider swear words that I hear all the time. My idea of the F-word is said amongst people with a level of ignorance and apathy that severely angers and offends me, but I could say fuck anytime if I am in the right place.

I apologize now for all future posts that may offend you. I will always do my best to keep it respectful in a “WAKE THE FUCK UP” kind of way, but I’m not the type of person to beat around any bush or sugar coat any cupcakes. My mama never raised me like that and she always taught us to just give it to people straight because sometimes people need an unorthodox explanation.

That’s why I’m here. I am unconventional, unorthodox, and downright unpredictable. It’s my weakness and my strength I guess.

2. Timing of Posts

Okay let’s be honest. I have a dangerous habit of sucking at posting articles. I know. I know…. I have all of these awesome things to write about and for some reason, I just get a sense of overwhelmness? I’ve unnecessarily pressured myself to be a “super blogger” and ultimately let myself be held back by that. That’s why I’m throwing everything I know out the window and I’m gonna let my expressions determine my site. I will do my best to post every week. Iam hoping to  not fall off the horse and will do whatever necessary to stay on. Afterall, I do love horse-back riding.

3. Categories

There are some new categories already, and more to be created. I’ve added “Health & Wellness” for all things medical/alternative medicine/self-care/FAQ’s for all of your self-educating needs. I get a lot of common questions from clients and people in general about their bodies and why our bodies do what they do, why we need water, why we need to stretch, and benefits of Massage, Bodywork, and general health knowledge. (There are no swear words in these articles – you’re good to go!)

I’ve also added “Wake Up America!” where I definitely might cuss and throw some gnarly facts in with resources and lots of eye-openers. These are the discussions that may or may not make you feel uncomfortable, but nonetheless show you the truth about anything I can to bring awareness in any way possible to remind us of what’s going on behind closed doors and how we can continue to strengthen our awareness, our independence, find justice, unite together, and stick up for our Truth, our neighbors, our Nation, and ourselves.

I’m bringing in a Canine Category for all things…. well… canines. Fun tips and tricks, educational pieces, delicious recipes, and resources to amazing and inspiring Canine Caretakers all over! Spotlights, Shout-outs; everything you need to get inside the mind of a dog and gain more confidence when trying to understand their language and what’s best for them to live a happy and healthy life.

I am also bringing in a Conspiracy Theory. It will be filled with my personal theories of wild nonsense I think about during meditations. Some may cool, some may be too outrageous to consider, and some may be really awful. But I think it’s interesting about theories, because there always seems to be some sort of truth to them in the end. So if I share them, I feel like I am living a sense of purpose that maybe I am not the only crazy one in the World who thinks the way I do. But I might be the only crazy one to let myself publically express it.

Ahh. Such is life. I am going dying as “the crazy one” – as long as I live my truth of expression for good integrity, I will take the label anyday.

4. Extra Pages (for the future)

This is something I am working on. I want to provide a page that shouts out to the people I admire and the cool shit they do. Authors, Bloggers, Designers, Companies that sell awesome products. I love blasting companies and people I love and I really want to create a page for just that. I am hoping this comes in the next few months, so I will continue working to my best ability to make this happen for you!

 

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Those are the only updates I have for now. I hope you’ve enjoyed my essay of explanations and thank you for being a subscriber to Planet Zynnia!

 

Call Me Unorthodox, But…

I am going to do something that may or may not be “accepted” in the blog posting World, but I think that if I tell y’all ahead of time, no harm done. Right?

First off, I would like to announce that I have bought a new computer after getting the news that my Asus laptop was indeed, dead beyond life-saving capabilities. So long all you amazing articles, 5 chapters of my first novel, and pictures and videos. You treated me well and I am sad to see you go……. I wish I could have saved you 🙁

But we move on, because if there was a fire I wouldn’t get the items back anyway, right?

Over the period of the next month I will be adding in pages and blogs I wrote and kept from a notebook while I was computer-less. Why couldn’t I just take the notebook to a library and post my blogs there, you ask? Well it’s simple….. abusive relationships do that people… they put them in a state of fear that if anything is done, the abuser will find out and get mad and abuse more. So the victim plays it safe. It has been some time now since I got out of that dangerous and destructive situation and now I am ready to publish all my back-posts.

 

Keep in touch everyone and I will be updating shortly!

Thank you for being with me as I took a year hiatus..

Perspective & the Universe

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Perspective is an interesting topic all on its own. We have our own perspective about life, beliefs, and what we want out of it to fulfill whatever it is we would like to see in our reality.
And then we bring up the universe and the relationship we have with that. What’s right, what’s wrong, and what ways in which we communicate with the greater unknown.

Bring those two ideas together and things can get really interesting.

I was realizing tonight, as I was chain smoking under a cabana on the cancun beach, gazing at the bright orange moon between the palm trees, that my perspective in many ways is just not working. Something has now got to change.

I like to think that I’m a positive person and I do all the things I know I should that will guide me to a life of more ease, health, wealth, and happiness in all aspects, but yet I haven’t been able to understand just why I haven’t received the things from the universe that I put into it. I put myself in situations where tension rises and I dwell on it and create an entire life’s worth of scenarios based on a situation and in turn, wonder why I’m not living how I see my life in my head.

The answer is not because people push my buttons, or because people make me feel inferior, ignorant, incompetent, or event inadequate. The problem is that I allow people to make me feel those ways. And the difference between what I’m doing about it now versus how I see myself dealing with it in my head is suddenly clear to me: I am in not allowing myself to be in full control of what I bring to the situation.

Whether it’s an irritating conversation or letting myself getting worked up over other’s behaviors, whether I do or do not agree with what is being said and/or done, I am absolutely undermining myself – and that is why I am not receiving what I want from the universe.

I am positive. I strive to do better and make good choices. I live life on the terms that satisfy myself and I am pretty comfortable with where I am at in life as far as who I surround myself with, what my nutrition and fitness standards are, how I treat others, and what I do on a day to day basis. But such is life; we all have weaknesses. And mine is outside influence.

I can be as strong as I want, as successful as I want, and I can have all the luxuries I desire; except I have a weakness for dwelling on the negative influence that comes my way. It’s natural to mull over scenarios in our heads and to feel angry or saddened or down right outraged. We are human! But it’s the strategy of how we deal with said emotions that is the key. The things we think are stopping us from having what we want is more often than not, all the wrong things. The thing that is stopping us from where we want to be versus where we are currently, could very well stem from deep within and with a little bit of our own damage control for ourselves could be the thing that changes our lives for the better.

My perspective on my weakness is on a thin line of ignorance and denial. I have all the right knowledge, just not the right audience. I don’t have to feel responsible or even obligated to take the world under my wings and show them ways for a healthier life. If they don’t want to take my advice or suggestions, that’s not something I should let get to me. Those who seek my knowledge and pick my brain are already open minded and when they take it, they see an abundance of positive change. Those who don’t, and push me away with negative banter or misjudged assumptions, should be my first sign to just walk away.

If I know & they know that the conversation is about to go sour, why keep debating with the topic? Isn’t it easier to just agree to disagree at that point and let bygones be bygones? Of course it is. Because in the end, we are people and we will make the decision that we feel is right for us. If we’ve been using the same methods for years and we feel like it’s working, why waste our time taking advice we don’t even agree with? Because we’re human, and the curiosity drives our every move.

Perhaps it’s the way the conversation is worded. Perhaps we are just too stubborn to do anything else. Perhaps we put people and their professions down just to spite them, sort of like rebelling without a cause. We don’t know why we reject; we just do. We get turned off and suddenly nothing that person says holds any credibility; even if we know it does.

I ask the universe. I plan my life as if I have the abundance I’m asking for. I receive less than satisfying results. Why? Because I’m harnessing those negative situations in dwelling and pitty and that is what the universe takes in. Though I’m not acting out on my thoughts that stir me, and though I’m voicing to send love instead of hate, I am still dwelling. I am obsessing over the conversation, over the ins and outs. What I should have said or done. What they should have said or done. How it could have gone. By this time though, it’s just far too late. It’s not that people bless me with negative energy, it’s that I allow the negative energy to come over my tall and hardened walls where it hits me in my weak spot. The kidney of the soul, if I may. I go down and succumb to the belief that “I am inadequate” in one way or another – mostly because these opinions come from the people I should trust the most: family, close friends, or mentors. I give them a reason to underestimate my actions because I allow my weakness to show through. My sister has always told me that regardless of the strength and confidence I put out, I wear my emotions on a sleeve. Accessible to anyone available. That’s why I get broken down.

I can’t control what others do in their life, nor can I control the perspective they have. All I can do is take it in and make the decision to myself to say “I refuse to let myself open up the gates to any energy that clinks its change cup against my golden bars.”

I am strong. I am knowledgable. I am adequate. I am competent.

What right does anyone have to tell you otherwise? None.
What right do we have to allow that behavior? Every.

It’s recognizing our weaknesses and harnessing their energy and lessons in a creative and innovative way to better our life experience. Ultimately, as I’ve said before, we are the only thing that can stop ourselves from having what we want.

It’s so easy to feel let down and confused and entangled in our minds when the same people who praise us are the same people who tell us we are not good enough. “You don’t have enough experience to be telling me what is and is not healthy. Look at you, you smoke cigarettes and you drink alcohol. Who are you to tell me I’m not living a healthy lifestyle?”
Maybe the person giving you advice does smoke & drink. But maybe you are taking too many prescription drugs and eating at fast food restaurants and soaking up all the bleached sugar, energy drinks, and and processed foods at the grocery store.

I smoke an average of 6 cigarettes a week. I know even one isn’t healthy. I know the human body inside and out. I study the anatomy, the inner systems, the movement, nutrition and absorbtions our body needs to function at the optimal level. I drink an average of four, maybe five times a month. I have the occasional fast food outing. I never claimed to be perfect or perfectly healthy on that note. But I know exactly what I’m putting into my body – good and bad – and that’s why I’m okay with I take versus other people. The majority of people haven’t a clue what they’re putting into their bodies, nor do the majority of people really know how to read nutrition labels. And that’s where I come in. When it comes to food and exercise, I know how to help and I certainly believe I know what I’m talking about. I don’t know everything there is to know, however I am confident in what I do know and always striving to learn more every second of every day. I have the open mind and knowledge quenches that thirst. To be shut out by people who spitefully turn my advice away because of one reason or another is not something I should see as aggravating. Because in the end, I still know what I’m putting into my body and my life and they do not.

Wu Wei. It is what is it is.

Being told you don’t know something that you in fact know much of, does not suddenly suck the information out of your brain. Facts are facts and opinions are to each his own. We choose to take in and leave out what we deem fit.

If there is anything to take away from today’s blog, it’s the encouragement I now give to all of you to have the awareness of your control. Know what you know and strive to learn more. Keep a open mind and be honest with yourself. Check in with yourself every couple of weeks or months or however often you feel necessary. Listen to your thoughts, recognize your actions, and most certainly, come to terms with the weaknesses you have in your own lives and give each of them the full attention to work on them and transform them to strengths. It’s wasted energy to allow ourselves to be brought down when we’ve been on a good-living streak. It’s natural to want to please those around us, but if we live our lives to surrendering for other people’s happiness, we ultimately cheat ourselves from gaining our own. We won’t please every person that comes our way and that’s okay. Be who are you and trust in yourself. Your weakness is to not be controlled or celebrated by anybody but you and your ultimate responsibility is to yourself – mind, body, soul.

Stay strong and carry on friends.

I leave you with a poem by Mother Teresa entitled Anyway.

Namaste my brothers, my sisters.

Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

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Hi again,

It’s one of those nights. Those nights to let it all go.
After a long day of thinking about my actions and life choices and seeing how they have come to effect my life now, I’m wiped out. Everyday, you do something, anything, and it moves you one step closer or one step further away from where you want to be.

Our problem is that we rarely stop to assess. Some of us have more awareness. Some of us truly believe we are aware people, and sometimes come to surprise even our self in the observations we have.

Let’s begin:

I haven’t been onto my website in a long, long time.
The worst part is, I have had so many great ideas on what to write about.
I used to just stop and write it out on my WordPress app on my phone, but now I am finding that I’m becoming more and more lazy about it. I am thinking about the idea of writing out a giant, long, detailed blog for so long that I actually end up getting overwhelmed and deciding to leave it alone completely, claiming that “I will just remember this topic and write it down when I get home.”
Really?
Who am I kidding?
I won’t remember. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do it.I’ve been exhausted for months.I have been living with two female roommates since the end of January, in downtown Salt Lake. It was fun for the most part. 

  • I got a dog at eight weeks old and have been juggling being with her, training her, playing with her – all things Zai.
  • I have been working a job that became more and more dissatisfying every day I went in for another shift.
  • I am going to a school where, besides my dog, is the only thing that keeps me sane all the time.
  • I have been in a six month relationship and have gone through the ups & down, in the end, enjoying every minute of it. I’m in love. I love another person’s soul. And I have loved his soul longer than I have loved him.

After all, isn’t that how I should feel about my other half? We connected on ways we’ve never connected with other people before.

And with Zai… I have never communicated with any animal the way I communicate with her. I think people forget to realize, more or less of the time, how much animals can understand. If you give them a chance, they will understand you. It’s a wonderful thing, mammal communication.

I quit my job yesterday. All the time we hear or read, on blog and motivational pieces, encouraging you to quit your job and take the risk of doing what makes you happy. And it really is great advice, except for the fact that sometimes, certain people are just sillier than others and quit without a) having a concrete backup and b) stacking those racks and really preparing for the time spent off track.
Oops! But what can you do? You can use that unpreparedness to your advantage and boost your motivation to fulfill a position that fits your current lifestyle exactly how you see fit.

I’ve taken my hiatus from blogging and reading, unexpectedly. It’s driven me nuts, and all along I have recognized the feeling of unbalanced energy in my life. I have to hit my forehead, bringing me back to reality, quite frequently, saying to myself, “Of course this is what’s missing! Why am I holding back? Why am I not writing? Why am I not engaging in the passion that drives my soul?”

 

Excuses.

It doesn’t make me a phony in how I carry myself, in any sense, however I have come to the comfortable realization that sometimes when you grow and progress so quickly in so many different ways, you forget about your foundation.
“forgetting where you came from phase.

It doesn’t make your person any better or worse, it just leads your core in a tornado across your entire thought process. It can be overwhelming or stressful and not only until you bring yourself back to center and remember where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be; will you make the necessary changes to pick up, regroup, and move forward in the best sane matter you know possible.

It’s not about doing it like anybody else, it’s about doing it the best way you know possible for the moment until you find the next big thing that will encourage, drive, and push you into the limits you never knew were available at hand.

That’s when the universe answers your call and decides you’re ready for the next big thing.

 

 

 

Dear Universe,
I don’t know if you know me as well as I know you. But I get you.
And I’m ready for you.

Yours Truly,
Z.

 

I pay my respects out of respect.