Perspective is an interesting topic all on its own. We have our own perspective about life, beliefs, and what we want out of it to fulfill whatever it is we would like to see in our reality.
And then we bring up the universe and the relationship we have with that. What’s right, what’s wrong, and what ways in which we communicate with the greater unknown.
Bring those two ideas together and things can get really interesting.
I was realizing tonight, as I was chain smoking under a cabana on the cancun beach, gazing at the bright orange moon between the palm trees, that my perspective in many ways is just not working. Something has now got to change.
I like to think that I’m a positive person and I do all the things I know I should that will guide me to a life of more ease, health, wealth, and happiness in all aspects, but yet I haven’t been able to understand just why I haven’t received the things from the universe that I put into it. I put myself in situations where tension rises and I dwell on it and create an entire life’s worth of scenarios based on a situation and in turn, wonder why I’m not living how I see my life in my head.
The answer is not because people push my buttons, or because people make me feel inferior, ignorant, incompetent, or event inadequate. The problem is that I allow people to make me feel those ways. And the difference between what I’m doing about it now versus how I see myself dealing with it in my head is suddenly clear to me: I am in not allowing myself to be in full control of what I bring to the situation.
Whether it’s an irritating conversation or letting myself getting worked up over other’s behaviors, whether I do or do not agree with what is being said and/or done, I am absolutely undermining myself – and that is why I am not receiving what I want from the universe.
I am positive. I strive to do better and make good choices. I live life on the terms that satisfy myself and I am pretty comfortable with where I am at in life as far as who I surround myself with, what my nutrition and fitness standards are, how I treat others, and what I do on a day to day basis. But such is life; we all have weaknesses. And mine is outside influence.
I can be as strong as I want, as successful as I want, and I can have all the luxuries I desire; except I have a weakness for dwelling on the negative influence that comes my way. It’s natural to mull over scenarios in our heads and to feel angry or saddened or down right outraged. We are human! But it’s the strategy of how we deal with said emotions that is the key. The things we think are stopping us from having what we want is more often than not, all the wrong things. The thing that is stopping us from where we want to be versus where we are currently, could very well stem from deep within and with a little bit of our own damage control for ourselves could be the thing that changes our lives for the better.
My perspective on my weakness is on a thin line of ignorance and denial. I have all the right knowledge, just not the right audience. I don’t have to feel responsible or even obligated to take the world under my wings and show them ways for a healthier life. If they don’t want to take my advice or suggestions, that’s not something I should let get to me. Those who seek my knowledge and pick my brain are already open minded and when they take it, they see an abundance of positive change. Those who don’t, and push me away with negative banter or misjudged assumptions, should be my first sign to just walk away.
If I know & they know that the conversation is about to go sour, why keep debating with the topic? Isn’t it easier to just agree to disagree at that point and let bygones be bygones? Of course it is. Because in the end, we are people and we will make the decision that we feel is right for us. If we’ve been using the same methods for years and we feel like it’s working, why waste our time taking advice we don’t even agree with? Because we’re human, and the curiosity drives our every move.
Perhaps it’s the way the conversation is worded. Perhaps we are just too stubborn to do anything else. Perhaps we put people and their professions down just to spite them, sort of like rebelling without a cause. We don’t know why we reject; we just do. We get turned off and suddenly nothing that person says holds any credibility; even if we know it does.
I ask the universe. I plan my life as if I have the abundance I’m asking for. I receive less than satisfying results. Why? Because I’m harnessing those negative situations in dwelling and pitty and that is what the universe takes in. Though I’m not acting out on my thoughts that stir me, and though I’m voicing to send love instead of hate, I am still dwelling. I am obsessing over the conversation, over the ins and outs. What I should have said or done. What they should have said or done. How it could have gone. By this time though, it’s just far too late. It’s not that people bless me with negative energy, it’s that I allow the negative energy to come over my tall and hardened walls where it hits me in my weak spot. The kidney of the soul, if I may. I go down and succumb to the belief that “I am inadequate” in one way or another – mostly because these opinions come from the people I should trust the most: family, close friends, or mentors. I give them a reason to underestimate my actions because I allow my weakness to show through. My sister has always told me that regardless of the strength and confidence I put out, I wear my emotions on a sleeve. Accessible to anyone available. That’s why I get broken down.
I can’t control what others do in their life, nor can I control the perspective they have. All I can do is take it in and make the decision to myself to say “I refuse to let myself open up the gates to any energy that clinks its change cup against my golden bars.”
I am strong. I am knowledgable. I am adequate. I am competent.
What right does anyone have to tell you otherwise? None.
What right do we have to allow that behavior? Every.
It’s recognizing our weaknesses and harnessing their energy and lessons in a creative and innovative way to better our life experience. Ultimately, as I’ve said before, we are the only thing that can stop ourselves from having what we want.
It’s so easy to feel let down and confused and entangled in our minds when the same people who praise us are the same people who tell us we are not good enough. “You don’t have enough experience to be telling me what is and is not healthy. Look at you, you smoke cigarettes and you drink alcohol. Who are you to tell me I’m not living a healthy lifestyle?”
Maybe the person giving you advice does smoke & drink. But maybe you are taking too many prescription drugs and eating at fast food restaurants and soaking up all the bleached sugar, energy drinks, and and processed foods at the grocery store.
I smoke an average of 6 cigarettes a week. I know even one isn’t healthy. I know the human body inside and out. I study the anatomy, the inner systems, the movement, nutrition and absorbtions our body needs to function at the optimal level. I drink an average of four, maybe five times a month. I have the occasional fast food outing. I never claimed to be perfect or perfectly healthy on that note. But I know exactly what I’m putting into my body – good and bad – and that’s why I’m okay with I take versus other people. The majority of people haven’t a clue what they’re putting into their bodies, nor do the majority of people really know how to read nutrition labels. And that’s where I come in. When it comes to food and exercise, I know how to help and I certainly believe I know what I’m talking about. I don’t know everything there is to know, however I am confident in what I do know and always striving to learn more every second of every day. I have the open mind and knowledge quenches that thirst. To be shut out by people who spitefully turn my advice away because of one reason or another is not something I should see as aggravating. Because in the end, I still know what I’m putting into my body and my life and they do not.
Wu Wei. It is what is it is.
Being told you don’t know something that you in fact know much of, does not suddenly suck the information out of your brain. Facts are facts and opinions are to each his own. We choose to take in and leave out what we deem fit.
If there is anything to take away from today’s blog, it’s the encouragement I now give to all of you to have the awareness of your control. Know what you know and strive to learn more. Keep a open mind and be honest with yourself. Check in with yourself every couple of weeks or months or however often you feel necessary. Listen to your thoughts, recognize your actions, and most certainly, come to terms with the weaknesses you have in your own lives and give each of them the full attention to work on them and transform them to strengths. It’s wasted energy to allow ourselves to be brought down when we’ve been on a good-living streak. It’s natural to want to please those around us, but if we live our lives to surrendering for other people’s happiness, we ultimately cheat ourselves from gaining our own. We won’t please every person that comes our way and that’s okay. Be who are you and trust in yourself. Your weakness is to not be controlled or celebrated by anybody but you and your ultimate responsibility is to yourself – mind, body, soul.
Stay strong and carry on friends.
I leave you with a poem by Mother Teresa entitled Anyway.
Namaste my brothers, my sisters.
Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.