November 2012

The moral of Thanksgiving


Happy Thanksgiving, all!
I hope today is utterly enlightening and special for everyone and you all have a safe and happy day with your loved ones.

If you’re like me, you have both received and given phone calls and text messages to family and friends and expressing your gratitude for their presence in your life. Expressing your love and the hotness they bring, the laughter and memories you have shared.

Today is the day to be as cheesy and happy as we want to be.

Whether you celebrate the importance of getting together around the table today, we cannot help but think about all the things that we are grateful for. It’s a beautiful thing.




Until April of 2011, I was missing something in my life. I was having a lot of fun, started in school, working and supporting myself…. But I still felt empty inside. Something was definitely missing and it took me a long time (twenty years) to figure out what it was.

Although I was happy and smiling and laughing everyday, I couldn’t shake the sadness growing inside of me. I had suppressed the feeling for so many years, through so many situations, that it finally made its way out, luckily, in the comforts of my own house.

I stepped through my front door, saying goodnight to my friends, and just broke down unexpectedly the minute I knew I was alone. My wart was hurting, and I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears were forcing their way out. Up until that point, I hadn’t cried in a long, long time.
it was long overdue.

I cried for my losses, life changes, fear,band accomplishments. I talked to God for a long time. Hours. I laid in my bed and just talked, letting everything out.

I found forgiveness.
I found gracefulness.

Once I got done shedding my emotions and draining myself of energy and tears, I took to reading some blogs. It’s the only thing, to this day, that puts me at ease.

I read a blog that challenged me to start a What I’m Thankful For journal. The idea was to write just five things every day of what I am thankful for.

My first day I couldn’t think of much. Perhaps I didn’t know how in depth it had to be. Perhaps I didn’t know how superficial it could be. Perhaps I was scared I was too selfish to ever do more than five.

But I started it that night. I was all out of options. I was desperate to feel something. anything.

My first night I wrote only three things.
My second night I got to five.
And for the next twenty-eight days, and my list made its way down to a hundred things I was grateful for, my true happiness started to merge. That itch of guilt, shame, depression, and anger was defeated and thrown into the Earth.

Bella and Lola came and we saved ourselves. We cleansed ourselves and our environment. They were the support I needed at that time.


That thirty day challenge saved my life and my sanity.

Not a day goes by that I don’t give thanks. I give thanks at the beginning of my morning, throughout the day,band before I go into REM. It’s become so natural to me and my life has changed dramatically because of it.

I’m accepting, understanding, compassionate, and enlightened. Among many other characteristics I have developed- I am most of all, happy.

When my teachers asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, kids, every year would write the job they wanted or intended to have. I always wrote happy. Nobody ever understood. But I’ve made it.

I’m growing up and I’m happy.


So today, I invite you to the 30 day Challenge that changed my life, in pure hopes it gives you also what you are looking for.

For the next thirty days, I challenge you to keeps journal or something tangible to put words in – and write down five things a day of what you are grateful for.

Thanksgiving is a great day to realize what we are thankful for, however, I believe it shouldn’t be just one day a year that we express it. It should be daily.

You don’t have to end with a hundred things, but I encourage you to write down everything and anything you are grateful for. From shoes to clean water to coats to cars to gas – whatever/whoever it is that has made your life better – acknowledge it. Love it. Grow with it.