June 2011

Deja Vu

I feel completely shaken right now. All these familiar sights and actions. Wait, I have been here before!
We’re going to Jake Trevor’s and then we’re going gonna go to the car where of course you are carrying the yellow medium sized Wellness bag of dog food, the bag with the pork ear slice and the tennis mall thrower toy that arches the ball nearly 50 feet.
Benzo is going crazy as we walk to the car and you turn and say, “He hates the leash. Hey, yo, unlock the car!”
I just stand dazed because that’s the exact moment I realized I had indeed been here before.

Holy shit.
I think my dreams are premonitions.

I wish this was the first time I have ever felt this feeling, but this occurs more than four times on a weekly basis. Yet, it still never ceases to put me in a pause and make me stumble and drop my jaw. It still shakes me everytime. How do you learn how to control something like this? This has been my third deja vu this week.
They say that when you have deja vu, you’re life is going in the direction it was meant to go in. Is this true? Open to discussion.

I was born this way.

All I things I did today,.I thought I would never do:
1. Bike from 9600 south to 900 south.
2. Not cry in hysterics when getting my blood drawn.
3. Not get super high.
4. Turned down a party.
5. Told my mom I was changing my name because I felt the one I had no longer suited me.
6. Realized money isn’t everything.
7. Volunteerly met with missionairies with my friend.
8. Volunteerly started reading the book of mormon.
9. Questioned the missionairies about why they chose mormonism.
10. Jogged for almost a whole song without stopping.
11. Accept thoughts and turn every single I thought into an action.

I had a perfect day. Along with those, I met one cute boy and two other really cool people at the park, while jogging. I stopped by the hospital on the way home and bought a get well card and two funny presents for my older ‘brother’. He just got his appendix removed. I ate 89% healthy today. I kept my energy up all day. I smiled a lot.

I think I’m starting to love myself a little more.